2026-09-19 05:17 UTC
Replies (15)
-
@frog@feddit.uk 2026-09-19 05:31
God spoke to the writers of the gospels and told them to write down the story. I mean I have no idea why each version of the same story is different. Maybe different timelines, dimensions? God works in mysterious ways. 🤷♂️
-
@Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 2026-09-19 05:39
Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down. Then the Council of Nicea went through all of these tales and said “This is real, we can tell, were putting this in the Bible.” They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Stop cutting off your balls, this is a metaphor, not literal instructions. Even though He said that they were instructions, that was also a metaphor.” You probably think I’m joking… but sadly, no.
-
@ceenote@lemmy.world 2026-09-19 06:20
The part where Moses describes his own death is also pretty trippy.
-
@weps@lemmy.world 2026-09-19 07:01
new testament is obviously bullshit the old testament has some really great stories but it’s unfortunate the Jews rewrote all the stories to fit their narrative still not a bad book 7/10
-
@20cello@lemmy.world 2026-09-19 07:02
Makes sense
-
@FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2026-09-19 07:44
He came back after getting crucified prolly told them about it then
-
@expletivedeleted@lemmy.zip 2026-09-19 23:14
What a worthless world view you have. You just had to write all of that to justify holding onto your ego, when it is so easy to let go.
-
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2026-09-20 04:57
Mine is when this guy, you know his name, hitched his ass to a tree and walked a mile.
-
@FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 2026-09-19 19:32
Hey now don’t oversimplify it! We all know about Joseph Smith and the stones in a hat.
-
@UnspecificGravity@piefed.social 2026-09-19 16:34
The new testament was written like a hundred years after Jesus died. Its entirely bullshit.
-
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2026-09-20 02:58
Mine is when the Israelites slaughtered entire cities and then they made kids sing about it at Bible Camp.
-
@Acid_Burn@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-09-19 11:30
I still think it’s wild that no one really talks about how the order of the books after the gospels is shortest to longest with Revalation (some truly crazy ass shit) tacked on at the end.
-
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2026-09-20 05:34
Wait no I changed mine it’s when they put Jesus in a hole, then put a giant wheel of cheese in front of the hole. The reason Jesus ain’t come back is he needs our help to eat all that cheese and get out of the hole [now that I think about it I might be able to start a cult around cheese. I told my wife no more cults, but I didn’t promise. Plus, cheese. Maybe she wants to join this one]
-
@TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-09-19 09:18
My favorite part is how well it can be used to light a fireplace. Just tear out some pages, put some wood over it and light it. Secundair use is rolling paper when you’ve run out.
-
@lugal@sopuli.xyz 2026-09-20 13:57
Can you cite these passages? Because from my memory, when he’s praying alone, the content of his prayer isn’t recorded and that barely happens at all. There are other things that show that the gospels aren’t historical but please stick to the facts. Edit: I was wrong, it actually does happen: Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ Matthew 26;38-41