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  Souvenir keychains with everyone else’s name but yours.

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  Embrace the doom.

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  On a cold winter night I like to light a fire in my fireplace and sling my hammock in front of it and get baked and listen to an audiobook

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  If we’re gonna make a list of people who are okay with killing children we’ll be at it all day

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  I am never buying a car built after 2016

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  I bet if They Might Be Giants wrote the song more people would get the joke.

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  I’d take that Tracker over any car built in 2026.

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  It’s weird that my two most trusted institutions are a satirical newspaper and a rude card game, right?

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  I used to live in a small town who successfully kept out a Walmart and Cracker Barrel. The former because it would have paved over a historic farm and cost millions to extend the sewer, and the latter because “we already have restaurants.” I miss that place.

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  The way I see it they’re not gonna waste the time and money to fight a $1,000 claim and articles like this would convince a local judge that I can’t just opt out. And since the other side didn’t bother to show up I’d win by default.

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  I like their attitude.

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  Until you’re like the poor guy I met who couldn’t get out of the courthouse’s parking garage because you pay with an app and he didn’t have a phone.

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  This is gonna be a great way to teach kids how to circumvent these controls. A whole generation of hackers will be born

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  Literally communism.

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  If you were a real pervert like me you needed zip disks

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  You’re welcome dumbass

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  When is the next conjunction of planets that enabled the Voyager missions happening and are we preparing for it?

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  Apollo 10; “Whose turd is this floating through the capsule? It’s not mine, mine wasn’t sticky.”

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  We will never be this lucky.

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  Everywhere but my house smells weird and it irks me almost as much as how nobody else notices everywhere smells weird.

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  So many of the shorts I’ve seen are repackaged Tik Tok that it makes sense for YT not to encourage publishing on a competitor first.

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  A lot of times encryption “at rest” is just encrypting the partition the DB is sitting on. There are options for encrypting the database when it’s in use, but if you don’t set up the right access controls the on-the-fly decryption can have it show up as plaintext. The best option for this is to do the decryption/encryption in the application, so even if they get the DB credentials for the app user it’s still encrypted. One disadvantage is that you can’t do searches in the DB anymore. Of cours...

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  Hoorah for General Guinness of the Dublin Boozaliers

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  How about some real Amish names like Hans Stoltsfucks or Big Dick Kreiser.

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  “Homeward Bound” by Simon & Garfunkel. It was really hard to choose because my dad loves music and has played guitar for almost 60 years. He’s still active in the local music scene and plays a couple gigs a week even in his 70s. But I picked this song because when I was a kid he was in a folk duo that practiced in our basement. This was the last song they played at their gigs, and the last one they played at practice. I was in elementary school at the time so my bedtime was right around...

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  Delete system32

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  Also imprecise engineering tended to overbuild things.

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  I don’t consider tankies lefter than me.

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  Which is why every one of them supported making sex work legal so they have those protections.

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  Like the person who surgically added small magnets to their fingertips and can now feel electrical and magnetic fields.