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  Anyone know how to get blood stains out of a mandoline?

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  It’s actually quite simple to caption foreign language in film.

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  Caught a reflection of my moisturizer in the bathroom mirror and imagined a lower-stakes take on The Shining where a caretaker is driven mad over isolation and dry skin except how do you even pronounce Mredirbul?

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  @TresFluke 11,002 is too many

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  @astronot @adhdeanasl same here! 😂

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  Excited to fly first class for the first time. I just hope I’m not seated next to riffraff who are only flying first class because it cost just $173 this time for some reason.

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  Re-injured myself snapping my fingers 🤦🏼‍♂️

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  Poor guy at the hot chicken place has anterograde amnesia. Asked me if I had been there before or if it was my first time when he had just asked me the same exact thing barely a year and a half ago.