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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@fesshole/117387107079817083 People who are staying at their lover's homes that evening. People who've been shopping on their lunch break and turned them on to test. People whose devices don't have travel locks, so sometimes turn on by accident. People whose bluetooth devices are none of your fucking business.

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  Don’t private message me out of the blue to talk about your boner. I don’t know you, it’s creepy. It’s not just an annoyance, it makes me feel like absolute shit and can properly ruin my day. To be so disrespected, to have my time and peace valued so cheaply... makes me feel worthless tbh. It might feel low-stakes & cheeky to you - ‘where’s the harm in trying, eh?’ - but it is actually pretty harmful to me.

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  Sometimes the gift of a blog idea just falls into your lap. And this time in '25, a guy asked me 'what's so hot about men in #fishnets?' so I immediately ran to my laptop to write this... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/men-in-fishnets/

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  Today in 'blog posts I wrote because I'm going through some shit': why riding my bike helps me inhabit a feeling that nothing else in life has ever given me. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/called-a-lot-but-never-this/ Gorgeous art by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social that I really want a print of for my flat. #cycling #BodyImage #bike

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  I was talking to a friend about this poem recently, so I thought I would share it with you. It's by Molly Naylor, from this gorgeous collection. https://badbettypress.com/product/whatever-youve-got-molly-naylor/ She read it aloud at a thing I went to a while ago, in the middle of a time in my life when I was feeling so worthless and terrible. I just needed to know that I was OK, and this healed me. I had a sobbing breakdown in the front row.

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  The thing you all need to know is that if I keep being a Very Good Girl and making men happy in whatever ways they want me to, eventually they'll be nice to me. That's just science.

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  This time last year, I wrote about the significant harms of the #OnlineSafetyAct. Depressing that things have got far worse since then. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/age-verification-whats-the-harm/

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  "Will you share your new toys with me? ... I’m really nervous, but I get the impression you’ll be able to help?” This time in '24, @thebarefootsub@mastodon.social brought us this gorgeous #erotica about sharing sex toys with a curious neighbour... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/testing-sex-toys-with-her/

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  Stop commenting on porn to tell me it isn't to your tastes!! NOT ALL PORN IS FOR YOU OMG. I covered this in 2015 why hasn't everyone learned it by now. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/not-all-porn-is-for-you/

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  People who can fuck off: the ones who insist we get pizza then want a pizza that’s covered in meat. If you wanted meat, you should have suggested burgers. Pizza is a cheese-based food. The cheese should be the dominant force.

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  If it weren’t rude and intrusive to do so, what questions would you like to ask of people before you decide to date them? I think I’d like to know how often someone wanks, so I can gauge whether they’re reasonably horny or if we’re both wasting our time.

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  #ICYMI, yesterday's fabulous guest blog by Synonymph exhorting cis men to avoid this one particular 'foreplay' move. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stop-putting-my-hand-on-your-boner/

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  With enough mental fortitude and an early enough bedtime... I might be able to turn this into a five-wank day.

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  This time in '24, a promise you could never ever ever hope to fulfil. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/come-harder-than-i-ever-have/

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  While I'm here, can I ask you a favour? If you're followed by anyone who writes smut, please could you share this post? Commissions (PAID, OF COURSE) for the next round of 'turning smut you've already written into lovely, wankable, accessible audio'. Would love to hear from some new writers! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

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  The one trick that consistently works to get me off the sofa and into bed when it’s late is ‘remembering that wanking exists’.

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  Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what we care about. As if 'offensive' is some magic word to get us to stop doing whatever it is that's pissing them off.

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  So proud of the #AudioPorn project rn - gorgeous, hot work from @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org, @nymphostimtoy@kinkycats.org, Spen Pritchard, @GoingDownWithSundial@mastodon.social + readings by Tabitha Rayne and @mollysdailykiss@kinkycats.org Check it out free here: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio 😍 Get bonuses & early access to new stuff while supporting the project at https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

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  Start your Saturday sexily, with this week's NEW #AudioPorn by the brilliant @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org - she meets you in a bar, and you've always been curious about what it might be like to let yourself get seduced by a seriously hot woman... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/bi-curious-i-want-to-seduce-you/ Big thanks to @Mollysdailykiss@kinkyelephant.com for bringing it to audio!

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  Can't BELIEVE it's been a whole year since the start of @GoingDownWithSundial@mastodon.social's incredible Sunday series! Get stuck in to part 1, then enjoy EIGHT other episodes of this gorgeous smut! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sunday-1-mouth-cunt-full-cock/

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  "If I’m honest and being completely selfish, I want it to be me that you have your first experience with." NEW #AudioPorn! A gorgeous #Bisexual seduction story written by @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org and read very flirtily by @Mollysdailykiss@kinkyelephant.com Click play and let yourself be seduced... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/bi-curious-i-want-to-seduce-you/

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  "It would be the most incredible adventure in understanding each other, wouldn’t it? Like answering the question of whether we both experience the colour ‘blue’ in the same way, but with sensations far more fun than pure visuals." NEW #AudioPorn - body swap #erotica. If I had his dick and he had my cunt... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/body-swap-your-dick-my-cunt/

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  Got a new personal best at the gym today, and I’m so pleased. I am 15kg away from being able to deadlift *myself*.

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  "Let me bury my face in the crook of your neck and close my eyes and track your heartbeat. " Gorgeous guest piece from the archive on #kissing, by mudkri - with #AudioPorn https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/kiss-me/

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  Someone on BlueSky is having a moan because a stranger crossed the street to get away from their dog. “My dog is so gentle tho!” My snake is adorable and wouldn’t/couldn’t hurt someone but that doesn’t magically cure people’s phobias. Dog people 🙄

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  NEW blog - I wrote a summer style guide for men. Three words: slutty little shorts. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sluttiest-looks-men/ Beautiful men in shorts by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social

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  Here's another thing that just went live: call for submissions! Got sex stories/blogs/erotica that you'd like to hear turned into #AudioPorn? HIT ME UP https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

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  "Stopping me in the hallway, making me face the wall and arch my back, yanking down my shorts and knickers then roughly lubing me up to get fucked in the ass." NEW blog: a horny heatwave daydream with incredibly sexy art by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/roughly-lubing-me-up/

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  Did you know that the things you interact with positively throughout your life give the angels a template from which to build your perfect afterlife? It’s true. So you should boost posts with porn in as often as possible or you won’t be able to wank when you get to heaven.

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  Ok so the heat sucks but I’m LOVING being woken up by shuddering thunder and huge bright lightning at 3 in the morning. Cacophony, downpour and drama while I lie all soft and naked inside feeling grateful for the rain. ❤️