Just spent a week travelling with someone who is convinced that their life would have been different and better if only yadda yadda yadda. It's illuminating for me because I can see the ways I too have slipped into that way of thinking at various times in my life. Illuminating also because often we forget that our troubles are not the only troubles. We look at other folks and see their good fortune, and maybe don't see the bad fortune they endured. But in this case, I just felt very sad for them. They have enjoyed immense privilege and opportunity and yet they still choose to focus on an identity that dooms them to suffering. It seems self-inflicted at this point. They are choosing to be small, instead of celebrating being alive. At one point they lamented having wasted their life. Then slipped back into "because of yadda yadda yadda". I almost got a chance to step into that gap and talk, but this person always talks over the top of me and after a week of that I feel less inclined to share. So I sat back and listened to another pity party. I have wasted too much of my life looking backwards. The good things in my life have only come from looking to the future. I do find it valuable to look back and remember how bad things once were, and think about how lucky I am today. There is wisdom in looking back, but the answers we seek are usually found by looking forward. So once again I remind myself to keep looking forward.