@LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone
2026-09-22 04:45 UTC
Replies (8)
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@swelter_spark@reddthat.com 2026-09-22 06:52
The sexism.
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@gegil@sopuli.xyz 2026-09-22 07:00
The people around me, who grew me up as a boy.
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@Nangijala@feddit.dk 2026-09-22 09:52
Growing uo with narcissists for parents. Especially if your mother decides to dedicate her pathetic life to be a cliché from a Grimm’s fairytale. Any evil queen or stepmom from the old fairytales, and you have my mother. My dad is a narcissist too, just a very passive kind. He doesn’t care abput anything, but my mom and likes to talk about himself. Most of the bad things he’s done has been to please my mother and my mother loves to torment their offspring. Total fucking cliché. Total fucking nightmare to grow up in because most of it is mental abuse designed to destroy your sense of self and make you hate yourself. I think my mother thought that she could just change who you are, if she didn’t like you. She never liked me and did everyhing she cpuld to hollow me out and replace me with herself. To make he her mini-me. Didnt work. All it did was giving me life long selfhatred and making me susceptible to abuse from others. I have worked on that for a long time. Trying to become a stronger person, but i will probably never become strong. Because other than tryign to change who I am, her and my dad also sabotaged every attempt I made to become independent. They did the same with my younger sibling. I have always wondered why it was so easy for some people to enter adulthood, when I always felt so ill equipped for it. And that is inspite of me moving out at 18 and never coming back. I still feel like a total failure in my late 30s. I feel stunted and weak. And maybe I’m not. Maybe I have achieved a lot of things in spite of my upbringing, but I never feel it. I never feel anything but not good enough. No amount of love and understanding from others has managed to erase that bottomless feeling of being useless to the world. Don’t have kids if you’re mentally two years old and just want a warm blooded doll to play dress up with. The doll has feelings and a soul that will be permanently mangled by your carelessness.
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@Aviandelight@retrofed.com 2026-09-22 10:08
Always facing the expectation that you are automatically responsible for everyone else and are expected to perform with happy docile compliance.
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@searabbit@piefed.social 2026-09-22 13:36
2 things: In a strict/ traditional household, being made to feel like you constantly have to hide what makes you a woman. Your period products, any contact with boys (even with my relatives and calling to order food I was accused of flirting!), your body parts. Being constantly denigrated for being into anything a teenage girl would be into. I couldn’t play my music in the car without complaints. Actors and singers with a primary teenage girl fanbase would be mocked and ridiculed relentlessly by the media and boys your age. Especially American male “heartthrobs” would ditch you as fans as soon as you lifted them up enough that they no longer needed you. I think this is why teenage girls gravitate to kpop so much. They at least seem to respect teenage girls as a fanbase (and yet are called gay for it, make that make sense).
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@ImmortalColeSlaw@lemmy.today 2026-09-22 15:17
For me it was really being the only girl in the neighborhood. I didn’t realize it at the time but it lead to be feeling like there was something wrong with being a girl. Especially when my parents would get mad at me for getting dirty and muddy but not my brother.
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@grober_Unfug@discuss.tchncs.de 2026-09-22 15:38
For both, boys and girls, the hardest part is becoming yourself against all expectations from family, friends and society. For girls the expectations are extremely focused on everything outside, how you are perceived. You‘re supposed to be cute, pretty, soft, styled to the max. You learn that you’re not supposed to go outside without altering your appearance, you learn that your natural looks are ugly. You learn, that intelligence or success is not something desirable as you’re supposed to be „less than a man“, in everything. You learn that you need to yearn for a husband and kids, that you are not complete without them. That you are mentally wrong if you want something different. That your achievements in life are worth nothing if you don’t meet the expectations. You learn that you need to alter your voice as you’re supposed to be soft spoken, hyper empathetic and forgiving. Your not supposed to lead, you‘re supposed to serve, and they tell you, that it’s in your genes to be like this. And don’t get me started on the perverted expectation that women are responsible for the actions of a man which is thrown at you at a very young age.
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@Wren@lemmy.today 2026-09-22 23:45
Learning that all the subtle ways sexism impacted my life growing up, and I just thought there was something specifically wrong with me.