Growing uo with narcissists for parents. Especially if your mother decides to dedicate her pathetic life to be a cliché from a Grimm’s fairytale. Any evil queen or stepmom from the old fairytales, and you have my mother. My dad is a narcissist too, just a very passive kind. He doesn’t care abput anything, but my mom and likes to talk about himself. Most of the bad things he’s done has been to please my mother and my mother loves to torment their offspring. Total fucking cliché. Total fucking nightmare to grow up in because most of it is mental abuse designed to destroy your sense of self and make you hate yourself. I think my mother thought that she could just change who you are, if she didn’t like you. She never liked me and did everyhing she cpuld to hollow me out and replace me with herself. To make he her mini-me. Didnt work. All it did was giving me life long selfhatred and making me susceptible to abuse from others. I have worked on that for a long time. Trying to become a stronger person, but i will probably never become strong. Because other than tryign to change who I am, her and my dad also sabotaged every attempt I made to become independent. They did the same with my younger sibling. I have always wondered why it was so easy for some people to enter adulthood, when I always felt so ill equipped for it. And that is inspite of me moving out at 18 and never coming back. I still feel like a total failure in my late 30s. I feel stunted and weak. And maybe I’m not. Maybe I have achieved a lot of things in spite of my upbringing, but I never feel it. I never feel anything but not good enough. No amount of love and understanding from others has managed to erase that bottomless feeling of being useless to the world. Don’t have kids if you’re mentally two years old and just want a warm blooded doll to play dress up with. The doll has feelings and a soul that will be permanently mangled by your carelessness.