CEO: Thank you for coming to this press conference unveiling our brand new product, Lightbulb Which Secretly Spies On You In The Bathroom. REPORTER: Hi. Tamara Dingbat from the Times. How much will it cost? CEO: Thank you for your question. I think it's important to remind you that Lightbulb Which Secretly Spies On You In The Bathroom, or "Lightie" as we call it, has absolutely NO cameras in it. It is simply a lightbulb. A high-tech lightbulb. For your bathroom. REPORTER: Hi. Joey Shill from the New News Network. Our listeners want to know what can the Lightie do that a normal lightbulb can't? CEO: Thanks Joey. Once again, I'd like to quash the rumors once and for all that Lightie is spying on people in the bathroom and reporting that information to shadowy government agencies. Lightbulb Which Secretly Spies On You In The Bathroom has NO such technology. Yes, you there in the back? REPORTER: Hi. Harold Haroldman from Channel 8. Can you tell us whether Lightbulb Which Secretly Spies On You In The Bathroom [checks notes] spies on us in the bathroom? REPORTERS: [grumble angrily] CEO: Get out. Yes, you there in the front row. REPORTER: Hi. Ginny Drunkateightam. What's your favorite color? CEO: *sighs dramatically* I wish everyone would stop bringing this up. Once again, people, I need to remind everyone that there is NO, absolutely NO NEFARIOUS AI SPYING TECHNOLOGY inside the Lightbulb Which Secretly Spies On You In The Bathroom. The cameras inside Lighty which monitor your activity 24/7 are there for your protection!! In the bathroom. The fact that I personally enjoy watching women poop has nothing to do with anything. Also it does occasionally murder a baby. That part is true. REPORTERS: *collective sigh of relief* CEO: No further questions at this time, thank you. HEADLINE THE NEXT DAY: An Insider's Look At CEO's Smart New AI Powered Safety Tech. You Won't Believe What His Favorite Color Is!