2026-09-12 11:20 UTC
You’ve considered a capitalist solution, but have you considered
Restorative justice: the spider is a trespasser, but will likely not find enough prey to survive. Capture the spider and relocate it to a suitable habitat where it can thrive. Check on it occasionally to ensure it is doing well
Libertarian anarchism: leave it be. It will die, survive, or thrive on its own terms
Authoritarianism: tell the spider if it doesn’t remove itself it will be arrested, start ordering it to get on the ground, fire 13 rounds at it, preferably missing all shots but hitting a nearby toddler. Institute martial law against the “foreign threat”, citing the recent death of a toddler
Replies (2)
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@chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 2026-09-12 11:50
House spiders generally don’t survive outdoors. They’re cave-dwelling species and they seek out indoor spaces by instinct.
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@akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 2026-09-12 12:27
SirSamuel, you enlightened bastard! You don’t know how much I needed this laugh. Also, I decided to go the pre-Marxist socialist route: the spider is allowed to stay and to contribute according to its abilities and shall be compensated according to its contributions in the pest elimination field.