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  A lot of people in Autistic Burnout desperately want their old life back. I understand that grief. What did that life cost you? Because if your old life required constantly overriding your body, masking, performing and running on fumes, than recreating it isn’t recovery - it's going backwards

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  “Can I do it?” is a terrible measure of disability. Yes, I can do it. Can I do it repeatedly? Can I do it safely? Can I do it without support? Can I do anything afterwards? Can I do it tomorrow too? What does doing it COST? These tell me a lot more about my capability.

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  do you think most autistic people are in autistic burnout?

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  Your meltdown isn't the whole story. The trigger - the loud noise, the cancelled plan, the unclear text - that's just the final drop in the bucket. The bucket was already full. For autistic folx, the drop gets all the blame while the hour before, the day before, the week before go unexamined. Don't study the drop too much. Focus on what filled the bucket.

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  Nearly every friend I’ve ever made came thru a “special interest”. Not small talk. Not networking. Not “putting myself out there.” A shared “obsession”, and someone standing next to me inside it. For autistic folx, special interests aren’t a pathological symptom to manage or destroy. They’re often the closest and truest road to connection we have. Society needs to stop pathologising the thing that brings us people and connection.

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  You couldn’t do the dishes. Again. Maybe it’s sensory. Maybe it’s exhaustion. Maybe you’ve spent every available spoon getting through a world that doesn’t fit you, and you genuinely don’t have one left. “Executive dysfunction” is just dysregulation with a moral judgment stapled to it. Figure out the why before you beat yourself up.

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  The world teaches autistic people to ask “how do we stop being autistic in public?” instead of “what support team & tools would let us exist safely?”

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  This is your real life. You don’t have to live simply to appease others. Some of us have more opportunity to live as we want to be. Some of us less. It’s upon those of us with more privilege in the ND community to speak up for and with those with less.

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  New peer support workshop begins this month https://www.theautisticcoach.com/newly-diagnosed-autistics-group

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  shaming other autistic comrades (or even yourself) for not practicing self-care 100% is ableist AF.

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  A little bit of my philosophy on autism https://www.theautisticcoach.com/my-philosophy

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  Some people call us “too sensitive.” But if the lights harm us, they harm us. Why moralise it? If the noise overwhelms us. it overwhelms us. If surprise plans dysregulate us, they dysregulate us. Expressing needs isn’t a problem. The problem is being expected to pretend what harms us doesn’t.

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  A boundary isn't always a sentence or statement. Sometimes it’s not going to the thing. Sometimes it’s muting the chat. Sometimes it’s putting the phone away. Sometimes it’s leaving the room. Sometimes it’s no longer explaining something to someone committed to misunderstanding you. @autistics@fedigroups.social

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  what does masking mean to you? it doesn't look the same to everyone.

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  Sometimes what gets called “depression” in autistic humans is years of unmet needs unprocessed grief and the exhaustion of performing a self that isn’t ours. It’s not (always/only/et al) a chemical imbalance. It’s a survival response. And it makes sense. Look how we are treated.

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  If you need more support from your spouse, parents, siblings, or friends - share my upcoming workshop with them https://www.theautisticcoach.com/allies-autistic-adults-workshop @autistics

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  What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned in life when it comes to disability?

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  group song has done fantastic things for my nervous system and mental health. how has it worked (or not) for my autistic comrades?

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  value disabled people's contributions to the world - whether or not you personally find it valuable

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  To be disabled means to be ignored and unseen in our world. And to be aware of that can also be empowering. Because when enough of us speak up, we begin to be seen - and make others seen.

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  Free online discussion and support groups for trans, nonbinary, and autigender autistic folx tomorrow come join us https://theautisticcoach.as.me/trans-nonbinary-iner-autigender

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  Shavuot is coming. Come join the Jewish Autism Network's free online discussion circle where we'll talk about what the Torah is exactly. https://theautisticcoach.as.me/jewish-autism-network-global-shmooze

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  when autistic folx speak, everyone speaks over us. don't let them. call it out.

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  It makes me skin crawl when a huge bookstore doesn’t have a single book about the history of books or the art of bookmaking

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  Autistic Burnout isn’t just “too much work.” It’s masking. Pain. Shame. Trying to care for everyone while no one cares for you. It’s rejection sensitivity, executive dysfunction, chronic illness, trauma. And still being told you’re “high functioning.” No wonder we break.

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  You can’t self-regulate your way out of a system that keeps dysregulating you. You can learn tools - but if the environment doesn’t change, you will keep hitting the same wall. This doesn’t make you a failure. Tools are helpful, but ultimately we need systemic change. You’re not at fault.

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  A lot of autistic folx think they don’t have boundaries. But often what they mean is that we were punished every time we tried to have them. So we learned to call their needs “too much”, to call discomfort “being difficult” & to call self-abandonment “coping.” But it’s not too late.

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  Not all meltdowns look like screaming or tears. Some meltdowns go inward. The spiral. The pacing, the numbness, the silent rage. The feeling of being trapped inside your bodymind with no exit. That’s still a meltdown. We just don’t get care for it - because it’s not visible. We don’t rest after. We blame ourselves. We call it “a bad mood” or “being dramatic.” But it’s a nervous system collapse. It’s our bodymind saying "this is too much". When we only define autist...

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  Come join the Jewish Autism Network's free online discussion circle this Sunday - our topic will be "Making Boundaries as an Autistic Adult" theautisticcoach.as.me/jewish-autism-network-global-shmooze

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  Some autistic folx don’t feel safe in chaotic spaces. Others don’t feel safe in overly structured ones. Both are real. Accessibility isn’t’ about “everything works for everyone” It’s about accepting that it won’t. Conflicting needs are real.