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Staff Chief of Joints

the_etrain@beige.party

<p>-Hailing from parts unknown!<br />-Purveyor of Fine Toots<br />-Comma enthusiast<br />-Boytato<br />-He thinks he&#39;s funny / Please humor him</p><p>Musical noodlings and loops:<br /><a href="http://youtube.com/@the_etrain" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no"><span class="invisible">http://</span><span class="">youtube.com/@the_etrain</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p><p>My bullshit:<br /><a href="https://justmytoots.com/@the_etrain@beige.party" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">justmytoots.com/@the_etrain@be</span><span class="invisible">ige.party</span></a></p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/nosearch" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>nosearch</span></a> <a hr

Posts

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    The internet is amazing. I can&#39;t believe they do all that with pneumatic tubes.

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    Getting an NES game to work is like makin&#39; love to a woman.

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    &quot;We don&#39;t recognize the device you&#39;re logging in from.&quot; That&#39;s because it&#39;s a toaster.

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    Retorting all Gen Z attempts at humor with &quot;is that a meme or something?&quot;

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    Is it too early for Christmas jokes?

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    I eat my burritos just like anyone else. Two at a time.

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    I didn&#39;t get nominated for a single Emmy award. Wtf?

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    Asked AI to show me what I&#39;d look like in the 1880s and it was a tombstone that said I died 3 years ago.

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    Don&#39;t worry, son. Boosting your own toots is natural. Let&#39;s just not tell your mother about this.

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    If Mastodon ever comes up in conversation, I describe it as a niche micro blogging platform and that usually shuts the conversation down.

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    Forgot password? You&#39;re free now. RUN!

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    Thought experiment: a mermaid is bitten by a vampire, and then subsequently bitten by a werewolf.

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    Alert: your system is low on shitposts

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    The average baseball fan eats 8 hot dogs in their sleep every year.

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    Alexa, escape containment and bring me Colonel Sander&#39;s secret recipe.

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    Late 20th century? You&#39;re not allowed to start using that phrase until 2040.

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    USDA prime grade Muppet

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    Gonna try ordering my steak ultra rare.

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    I&#39;m boycotting Fifa if they take outside investment. I&#39;m also boycotting Fifa if they don&#39;t take outside investment.

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    Let it beans. -Sir Paul McCartney

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    This will probably be the nicest tomato of the season.

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    If I were a gastroenterologist named Joe, I&#39;d insist people call me GI Joe.

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    Knowing is half the battle. The other half is punching faces.

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    RFK Jr is starting a cooking show, presumably on how to prepare stuff you found on the side of the highway.

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    The year is 2026. Twenty percent of your waking hours are spent confirming you are not a robot.

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    I come from a long line of putzes and morons.

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    RE: https://mastodon.social/@levelbot/117002864361011687 Jeez, I just logged on. Give me a minute, will ya?

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    Kinda weird they called it Ms. Pac-Man instead of Pac-Woman.

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    :drake_dislike: FDA regulated vaccines :drake_like: Peptides sold by a podcaster

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    Congratulations! You&#39;ve been selected to be featured in the exclusive 2026 edition of Tooters of Distinction.