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  Mew

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  Fuck. Fuck fuck I've got feelings. Noooo..

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  Excuse me but meow?

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  Everyone else had seen this little bugger so I made it my turn. Yeah they're way bigger than mainland ones.

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  It's cold

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  Tasmania is shit and you shouldn't go there.

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  LB: ever feel like you're the only queer not constantly getting freaky? I dunno maybe I'm not pretty enough or something lol

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  Can't sleep.

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  Hi cuties

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  "Hows your mental health?" Well youtube has hit the "suggesting stuff like 'breakcore mix to dissociate to'" stage again so you know. Not the best I guess?

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  Gboard really reminding me lately that the only good Google product is the first release and it only gets worse from there.

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  "Sunk-cost fallacy is a lie made up by Big Quitter" hehe

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  Acceptance is a big part of this. Of loss, of results, of never quite being able to be what you should have/imagined. Not that you shouldn't try of course, but gosh I watch a lot of people eat themselves alive.

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  Got a solid case of meh today. Want to leave the house but dont want to just as much.

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  So there's two light towers I can focus on very well from my bedroom window and I am just waiting for a thunderstorm so I can absolutely fail repeatedly to capture anything hitting them.

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  Achievement Unlocked - "You're so strong": Visit a short pier and don't take a long walk. ⭐

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  I saw a discarded CD on the rail line. Yes this once again set off my "I should acquire an old stereo system" disorder. (Thankfully treated so far by taking an ounce of remaining common sense each day)

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  "Australia's jobseeker system fails workers and enriches millionaires, report says" oh I do always like publications from The Ministry of the Fucking Obvious

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  Finding a suitable person to learn rope with is hard. I mostly need to involve someone else as an accountability thing and because not a single thing about self tying will ever happen because I cannot self motivate for such things. There's no joy there either. And yes, at least some of this is top as cope. But it is the only way I can see a path forward as a bottom.

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  The joy of having friends with anxiety conditions (and lets be honest, having an anxiety condition myself) means oh now I don't have a visitor tonight and absolutely nothing to keep my mind from also going wrong.

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  Allistics have this; "this is what enthusiasm looks like *big happy face panto* yes yes nod nod enthusiasm *thumbs up* lets goo" fixed thought shape and unfortunately it seems to have been beaten into a lot of autistic folks as well. Yes this is a "I don't like that "enthusiastic" is a thing when it comes to consent, because what you really mean is a *particular flavour* of pantomime enthusiastic consent" rant.

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  Ooh a potential sleepover. Well now comes the awks "so I can set up the air mattress.. orrrr you know, i do have a queen bed which is pretty empty... whichever you are most comf wif 👉👈" question. I mean, we'll be already using it I suspect.. buttt not actually done the whole sleep in the same bed thing. Whenever I have visited her she's gone back to the partner bed which, fair!

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  Tas in two weeks. Wibble.

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  Well I fit in the bath, with some caveats. It's a technical bath for sure.

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  I feel the latest video is where Quinn has gone mad but being a model engineer who could even tell.

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  Huh. I don't know what the fuck to do today.

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  You should totally give me headpats

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  Bagel good. Coffee good.

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  "1,000kg of CSIRO archives on Australia's wool history returned" interesting data storage metric

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  I'm cold and lonely. Bleh.