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  When I was, I guess, about ten I saw some demented old fart drive straight into a level railway crossing. The barriers were down, the lights were flashing, the sirens were wailing. I know this, because I'd just had to walk over the footbridge to avoid the crossing. His car got caught and couldn't move. A passer-by literally had to drag him out of his car and he was livid - fucking incandescent - that the whole world was conspiring against him like this. I was the one who called 999 from...

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  More milk per milk.

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  I saw someone elsewhere suggest a theory: one of Trump's staffers told him to say the picture "has been doctored" which got the Amigara Fault treatment in Trump's mind and came out as "I'm a doctor".

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  Fucking Foop Foop.

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  I'm from the North of England and we say "_aye! t'was onna night most un'nartual, when good folk did pull down the shutters and bring their children reet close and 'uddle themselves away, for they couldn't rightly say if they wus hearing the howling of t'wind, the shrieking orra newborn, or the wailin of the beast, in this very valley [x] years/moons ago_" and I think that's beautiful.