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Quaap

quaap@toot.io

<p>Rural transplant, leftish, recovering knowitall, recovering dipshit, dad, transparent, code monkey, metal fan, and so introverted I do not appear on film.</p><p>Like a casino worker wearing boxing gloves, I try, but I just can&#39;t deal.</p><p><a href="https://toot.io/tags/nobots" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>nobots</span></a><br /><a href="https://toot.io/tags/noindex" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>noindex</span></a></p>

Posts

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    Hey brain: I&#39;m glad that, despite there being &quot;no time to panic&quot;, you put in the effort and we got there anyway

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    Sorry to break the illusion, but I&#39;ve been secretly not a smart person this whole time

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    Due to a typo, I gained 15 pounds by intermittent feasting

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    So when did absolutely everything stop making sense for everybody else?

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    What unit of measurement do metric people use to brag about their dicks?

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    Me at the talent show: &amp;quot;This is really my only talent&amp;quot; I say meekly, while nervously demonstrating that thing I learned once, so many years ago... People scream &amp;quot;Put that away!!&amp;quot; Others yell: &amp;quot;Call the police!&amp;quot; Someone near the back, in very quiet latin: &amp;quot;Notify the Vatican&amp;quot;

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    Sure, sex is great and all, but have you ever tried pretending you&amp;#39;re not home when someone knocks on your door?

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    I use self-deprecation as a defense mechanism. I also squirt ink out of my ass and dart away when surprised

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    Yes, motorcycle riders, I do want to hear your motorcycle at all times when you&amp;#39;re within a 5-mile radius of me. Normal annoying traffic noises aren&amp;#39;t loud enough, so I need to know that you are having compensatingly good time shifting gears to get to a dumb top speed much faster when you are half a city away from me

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    If it&amp;#39;s tit for tat, the one offering tat is getting a much better deal

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    On a scale from [fart noise] to [kazoo squawk], how&amp;#39;s your day going?

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    Sam and Al are quantum leaping all over the place right now trying to put right all this crap

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    Hi, I&amp;#39;m Nicole, the crime dog

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    Imagining trump and putin in that scene from titanic and putin is holding out trump&amp;#39;s arms and then trump says &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;m king of the world!&amp;quot; and then they kiss.

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    Wow, I was so young and stupid. Now I&amp;#39;m much older

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    Pronouncing &amp;quot;Menards&amp;quot; like a pirate who got punched in the crotch

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    🎵 It&amp;#39;s the end of the world as we know it, and I&amp;#39;m. So. Tired.

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    I normally don&amp;#39;t trust online personality quizzes, but this one seems to be pretty accurate (borrowed from @Lana)

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    New @acollierastro video, https://youtu.be/UnpFu5k-o3A

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    @sohan Boobies with feet?! What a country!

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    Has anyone ever actually met Art Deco?

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    &amp;quot;Painstaking&amp;quot;...

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    Slow part: shove me in the shallow wa&amp;#39;er, before I get too deep

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    Who died and made you King? ... Oh, I&amp;#39;m sorry, your majesty

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    Assuming you don&amp;#39;t work weekends, which is better?

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    Please sir, it&amp;#39;s my decimal system: it&amp;#39;s all dewey

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    Boooots! Muddy boooots!

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    Doing a search for &amp;quot;sexy minecraft skin&amp;quot; is nothing but a low-poly PG good time https://noai.duckduckgo.com/?q=sexy+minecraft+skin&amp;amp;noai=1&amp;amp;iar=images

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    Is there a phone number or website I can go to cancel my subscription to 2026?

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    Celebrate International Women&amp;#39;s Day by buying everything you can from a broad