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  After a five-year study, scientists have finally concluded that saying "That's not going anywhere" improves ratchet strap performance by roughly 37%.

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  Do not let them take the temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer.

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  A depraved young gaucho named Bruno, Said “There is one thing I do know, A woman is fine, And a sheep is divine, But a llama is Numero Uno.”

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  Project Binky rides again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WaPEUnV0ts

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  Spam mail received. Attention Beneficiary!!! Congratulations, you have been duly selected, get back to me now if you are still alive for more details on your compensation payment. Kind Regards, Mr. Garry Raymond. UN Compensation Officer.

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  I've been out metal detecting all day and found a Land Rover buried in a field. It was a nice Discovery.

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  To stop ants coming in your house, leave a saucer of milk outside. The adult ants will drink it, and since It has an effect on ant reproduction, the young ants are born without toes, therefore they cannot climb up your walls or under door frames. This effect is called "Lack Toes in Toddler Ants."

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  Needed a throat-soothing drink. Vimto syrup in hot water did the trick.

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  Dr Errol Brandt explains his Kiraa Engine local AI setup on Apple Silicon Macs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjTiabGNdVs

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  Do not accept any Facebook friend requests from my parents, they’ve been hacked. Yours, L. Borden.

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  Later today I shall be free-trial testing an interesting Apple app that allows any 5k iMac after 2012 to be used as a 5k display from any modern(ish) Intel or M-series Mac as the host device. Both Macs are connected via Thunderbolt cable, USB SuperSpeed or Gigabit Ethernet cable and audio can also sent over the connection to the iMac’s speakers. That app is https://www.retinarelay.com and the MacBook Neo is supported as the Host Mac. @bcanedy @eabolden

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  Last year I paid $180 for a 365-day pre-paid iPad broadband plan which gave me 70 GB of data. This year the price went up by $20 but the data also increased to 160 GB.

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  It do be a bit wet.

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  For your entertainment: https://benedictcumberbatchgenerator.tumblr.com/

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  'Phonetic' is not. 'Abbreviation' is 12 letters. 'Thesaurus' doesn't have a synonym. 'Monosyllabic' has five syllables. 'Hyphenated’ isn't, but ‘non-hyphenated’ is. Say what you will about English, but it has a sense of humour.

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  Angry bird.

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  A woman was rude to me on the train today, so I Googled the title of the book she was reading and told her who the murderer was.

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  Is this what Simon and Garfunkel meant?

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  How do I remove a previously established filter in Mona app on the iPhone?

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  Thought I’d give the Apple battery 80% limit setting a try on my M3 MacBook Air in preference to using Al dente Pro (Setapp). Nope. Bloody useless. Battery had got to 56% charged, incoming charge wattage was barely 5 W. This was regardless of whether I used the standard 70W charger or a ^%W GaN charger. Optimise battery is turned off. I noticed that if I logged out of the user account then back in, the 80% limit setting had reverted to 100%. The same applied to rebooting. This is not supposed to...

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  With my trusty Ryobi cutting tool I’ve been reducing about a dozen Amazon cardboard boxes to flat-pack form.

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  Quote by a forest ranger at Yosemite National Park on why it is hard to design the perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking into it: "There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."

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  Erwin Schrödinger admitted defeat after his cat smugly proved that the box both exists and does not exist at the same time, whether observed or not. Then later went on to prove that furballs have zero mass.

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  If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them free. Basically set everyone free and get a dog. People are stupid.

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  Just watched a video showing a built from original blueprints Case 150 steam tractor aka road locomotive. Its engine makes 150 hp and 8000 foot-pounds of torque at 200 rpm. That’s virtually the same power as my car but the tractor has over 54 times the torque. My car makes its peak torque at 4000 rpm, 20 time the speed of the tractor.

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  All mushrooms are edible but some only once. Remember to leave a piece on the kitchen counter for the Coroner.

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  Canadian teens have made a version of Monopoly in a pentagonal shape and called it “American Dictator.” It retails for CD $50 with a proportion of the profits going to a local food bank. One of the spaces is called Supreme Justice. If you land on that you can buy the Justice and over-rule any other player’s move. Game cards are called “Questionable Decisions,” each one being an actual Trump decision. Unfortunately all stock has been sold out.

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  When I said I wanted to be mysterious and fascinating, I didn't mean medically.

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  I run a tight shipwreck.

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  Apologies for the grainy image.