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  Noping right the fck away from whatever this is.

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  (┛ •ᴥ•)⁠┛⁠彡⁠┻⁠━No━⁠┻

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  Cop: *Slows down to see why I'm parked on the side of the road with my hazards on. *Sees I'm loading a discarded cat tree and a 12 foot piece of sheetrock *Speeds up and immediately nopes off

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  I'm watching a guy describe how a Continuously Variable Transmission (CVT) works, and the girl he's talking to looks like mentally she's being detained in Guantanamo Bay.

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  Don't fuck up trying to make friends irl by completely missing social cues challenge (Impossible)

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  #ArtistsOnMastodon #ArtistAdvice #KofiCreators Generally speaking, as a supporter on #kofi, how do you feel about what a creator sets this option to? "Show my top supporters and leaderboard”

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  Friends don't let friends ?si=

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  Any suggestions for a #LiveJournal type platform I can use for keeping a #blog? I want something that won't just vanish one day (a concern I have with the fediverse), but isn't covered in ads either. #blogging #blogs

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  My brain scrambled today and I called a mechanic the car veterinarian.

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  Where have I been? I've been intermittently hiding in Canada. Why? When I'm there I can remember what it's like to feel safe again. :drgn_flat_sob_heart:

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  Fellas, y'all don't have to use "P*treon" or "comm*ssion"— just write the words, there's no algorithm to placate here. :blobcatheart:

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  :blobcatgooglyfingerguns: #prius #miata #prius

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  Sure kevin, *technically* your 22,000lb fox girl isn't naked while she eats that elementary school, but it's only because you included the soiled diaper. It's still very much not something I want jump scaring me on my lunch break. :blobcatmeltcry:

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  Hey everyone, I'm looking for things to listen to at work! Please recommend #Youtube channels *you* really enjoy! (Preferably without a dozen intrusive sponsored ads. :drgn_lurk_blep: ) #RecommendationsPlease

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  Me, naively: wow, car companies deleting the rear wiper is incredibly frustrating. It's pouring rain and I can't see what the hell is happening behind me at all. This is a ridiculous decision that literally no one asked for. #Polestar: oh? So what if we just-

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  #politics "It's not overly political."?? My brother in Christ, THAT WAS THE ENTIRE GODAMNED FUCKING POINT OF #ANIMALFARM.

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  :ms_music_notes: To the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It: If the form has *phone, close the Page! If the form has *phone, lose the Page! If the form has *phone, because the owner feels entitled to a phone number, despite including an obligatory *email in the same form, and dammit you have zero reason to try and call me for the thing I am asking, and if I cannot submit the form without providing my personal phone number to you, I will absolutely Close the Page! ʕ⁠ノ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠ノ⁠...

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  #politics Being in Canada is still a very otherworldly experience for me. I can say perfectly normal things, like government sponsored masked men shouldn't be allowed to murder unarmed civilians in our streets, and there's no rando running up from twenty meters away to scream whataboutisms in my face while explaining why a little genocide is good for a country, actually.