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  Gloria leads her conga line of space hamsters out of the shop. More hamsters catch the rhythm. The street becomes a huge mini-giant rodent second line. The complete absence of music adds a soupçon of horror. You follow, doing your best footwork. You arrive at Gloria's house with an entourage of confused Radio Club members and peckish aliens. Gloria looks to you. "Treat now," you both agree. With her person in orbit, she's appointed you host. You open your well-worn pizza de...

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@michelestrider/117306097547963359 We'll probably wrap this story up this week. As usual, it got... weird. I blame y'all.

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  "Seen any good TV shows lately?" you ask the ferret and the cat as the large sky orb sends smaller orbs down to the planet. "I've really been into Masterpiece Theater myself." You recount both seasons of Wolf Hall as thousands of unexpectedly small spacecraft land. Tiny, furry invaders flood the streets. "...anyway, Mark Rylance is a treasure," you conclude as an extended family of Miniature Giant Space Hamsters starts climbing the building walls. Gloria and...

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  Do people from New Hampshire call themselves Hampsters?

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  Y'all. At lunch today, a guy sat down at the table next to us and set out, like, a zillion* handheld radios. Then he started talking to the waiter about Ham radio and listening to the ISS chatter. I kept waiting for him to mention a pet ferret.

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  You have the power; you have the ferret. You race down to the pet store to buy one of those word-mat things for dogs. It's a long shot, but you have faith in the ferret. Gloria seems to understand the setup. She boops the buttons for "treat" and "now." You give her one. The alien speaks. Gloria boops the word-mat. "Treat." "Now." You give her one. Cmdr. Johnson takes the mic. "Any luck?" Gloria boops the mat. "Daddy." "Ma...

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  RE: https://mastodon.online/@Tinrocket/117270478187354602 Just realizing I could've been walking around with a couple of Pop-Tarts in my jeans pocket instead of a doombox

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  I think the most important takeaway from Burning Man's decades-long experiment in temporary community is that it all goes to hell as soon as the billionaires show up

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  "Beige Party?" It's more of a question than a statement. "It's a cult, you know," warns John. You consider your current circumstances. TikTok influencers swarm like bugs. Corporate Threads accounts have hijacked #DJPJs. Bluesky exists. And the AI is generating images of its wedding to you. "That's fine," you decide. "Check your email," says John, ending the call. You do. You click the link. You're transported. It's a nice void. Qu...

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  "Once. I don't want to talk about it." "Why? What happened?" asks Trendz. "Sorry, but it might help us understand this." You blush very brightly. "It fell in love with me." "They'll do that," says Trendz "Then it got weird." "They'll do that," says Joan. "Have you seen the movie 'Misery'?" Joan and Trendz nod. "I read the book," says Hot Librarian. "Like that." "O...

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  Axios headline: Gen X is losing confidence GenX: We had confidence? Ever? In anything?

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  "I tried kombucha," you answer. "First I thought it was bad, then OK, then no." "Been done," says Trendz. "What else?" "I went to the library and a coffee shop in my PJs. That's weird." "Not even. Have you seen GenZ? No, it's something else." "The hashtags are no help," sighs Joan. As you brainstorm, the cafe fills up. You bump the music up. "Maybe it's something someone's saying about you," sug...

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  You find an indie flick called "The Fediverse." The hero, JM, inhabits an alt-timeline world. Their main superpower is "boosting." There are subplots about esoteric computer systems, a reptilian alien overlord (and his hot wife), and cats, but the main villain is an evil billionaire. Halfway through, you get a text: "Reply now to federate." There's a knock at the door. You answer. A woman with a pound sign tattoo on her shoulder tells you to follow her. Ther...

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  I'm in my crone era. I'm witchmaxxing. I'm bog mogging

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  To whom do I speak about making this face a US postage stamp? #CatsOfMastodon

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  "Is there a back door?" you ask Lily. There's a fluttering noise as the roosting bats descend in a flurry of leather wings. You blink and are surrounded by the most wholesome plaid-clad people you've ever seen. "Who...?" you ask. "That's not important," a ruddy older man dismisses the question, thumbs hooked in his overall straps. "We'll distract 'em. You run." The bats engage the HOA goons. You look back to see much flailing and sq...

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  Dashi says hello #CatsOfMastodon

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  Y'all! A pick-a-path podcast! We've been training for this! #WBUR The Midnight Rebellion | WBUR Podcasts https://share.google/TOKltJrxVk44uhnV4

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  May 5 White People Checklist: *Are you wearing a themed hat? Take it off. *Tacos are fine. Ditto burritos. *If you must drink tequila on a Tuesday, that's on you, not Mexico. *No one cares that you went to Cabo once. Ditto Tijuana. *Mexican Independence Day is Sept. 16.

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  If you had the resources, what book would you put in hotels, a la Gideons bibles? (This may be a very American question, I dunno.)

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  RE: https://mastodon.online/@davidaugust/116471505896213509 👏 👏 👏 Ballrooms Save Lives, people. 👏 👏 👏

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  Dashi, in her happy place #Caturday

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  "Chug, chug, chug. Puff, puff, puff. Ding-dong, ding-dong. The little train rumbled over the tracks," you giggle to yourself as you pull away from the station. It's official. You're on vacation. You've never traveled by rail before and are buzzing with the romance of it all. The ambiance may not exactly be giving Orient Express, but you've got a roomette, a view, and you don't have to drive. Budget luxury! The scenery is still too famil...

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  "Thou shalt not suffer a fish to live." -- my cat

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  Based on the results in Hungary, I insist that JD stump in every state this fall.

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  Y'all recall I said we'd start a new story tomorrow? Well... I've got to run to AZ this week, so... We'll start our next story on 4/20. It seems like a good date to start some nonsense.

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  Y'all recall I said we'd start a new story today? Well... I'm making a quick run to AZ this week, so... We'll start our next story on 4/20! It seems like a good date to spark something up.

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  I've got a doctor's appointment today. If she comes in wearing red robes and has glowing palms, I'm going to owe someone a big apology

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  Tooting while my eyes are dilated because I like living on the edge

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  OK, that sucks https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2026/04/starting-in-may-pre-2013-kindles-wont-be-able-to-buy-or-download-new-books/