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  I recently logged back into Facebook and it took me about sixty seconds to regret it

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  I am once again compelled to remind the universe that the only reason they were able to afford the apartment in the #FriendsTvShow is because they were (somewhat dubiously) living in units under rent control

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  RE: https://alpaca.gold/@maxgross/116938802379200948 anyway i deleted my account

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  Tempted to create a version of Monopoly that’s exactly the same except prices have been changed to reflect modern inflation

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  The thing about people going “oh these companies take your money and hold onto the interest” is that interest rates are like 3% so it’s not really that worth the hassle

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  why is hanging things so much work

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  every week i am reminded that I am a "spend money on it" gay and not a "fix it myself" gay (I really try, ok, but I should not have to injure myself to break through a padlock)

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  Robot mop: *diligent mops the floor* Me: “ahhhh why is it wet”

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  Calling a guy “DOGE twink” feels like an act of some kind of violence, but there are bigger problems in the world and, honestly, kinda deserved

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  is it just me or has Apple Home been really disappointing

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  does it void the warranty if you bring an iphone to space

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  Isn't it nice that we are doing war crimes too

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  Never understood Miranda Priestly like I do right now, when I'm well prepared for closing and everybody else isn't, sighhhhhhhh. #WhyIsNoOneReady

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  If it’s a good thing the push notification is “good news! your interest rate has increased!” and if it’s a bad thing it’s “important notification about your account”