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Matthew Haughey

mathowie@xoxo.zone

<p>Internet nerd from way way back. Currently: writing. Mostly jokes.</p>

Posts

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    The hardest part of flying home from Japan is adjusting to the time change. For example in Tokyo I got to experience a future where everyone deserves dignity but I’m flying back to a country intent on pushing itself back to the 1950s. It’s hard to adjust your watch to that.

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    Turned on my hotel TV thinking “I’ve never seen what regular live Japanese TV is like, I wonder what it’ll be like” and there’s a nice piano being played while a cat sits on the piano, with lots of closeups of the cat not the musician for several minutes. 10/10 no notes

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    I tried out Google Translate live transcription of a DisneySea introduction and got this gem. We live in the future!

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    My first night wandering Tokyo after landing last night

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    There’s an old saying that if you dig deeply into any aspect of US History, you’ll find rampant racism. Today’s unexpected lesson: the “King Ranch” trim on Ford trucks celebrates a guy who helped the confederacy during the civil war, stole land, and stole livestock. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dde3_QoSbN2/?stkn=MXR5dW93NXJvbml6NQ==

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    Trump released his crypto coin a year ago today. It was valued at $0.2154 at launch. Today&#39;s price? $0.05705, so if you put $10,000 in on launch day you&#39;d only have $2,648 left. (also it&#39;s still corrupt af that a sitting president got to financially benefit from this scam)

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    I get 3-5 spam calls a day with an identical script: “hi we are calling today because we just finished a construction job in your area and are out that way giving free estimates on any home improvement projects you may have”

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    Not many people know that “news dot ycombinator dot com” is an anagram for “humorless pricks writing judgmental comments”

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    Did you know that 3D printed covers for Flock cameras are easily printed and make cameras inoperable when you plop them on using a pole? I share this information for no reason at all.

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    I bet the Washington Generals watch Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries clips before every game to study their losing moves

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    alt title: do u even lift bro https://a.wholelottanothing.org/feeling-the-burn/

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    I spent the past couple months in a deep rabbit hole, researching and following the used car market, all to buy a perfect old Honda Fit. Today, I wrote up everything I learned from the whole process https://a.wholelottanothing.org/everything-i-learned-when-buying-a-used-honda-fit/

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    I used to love using an emdash constantly, but I guess my own writing was training data for AI and now to avoid accusations that I&amp;#39;d ever use AI in writing, I stopped using them. I wonder if I should adopt the rare triple emdash character⸻to prove I wrote it?

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    Since 2024, a specific car was sold in the US with two different names and badges, virtually identical except only one of them comes with CarPlay. Which one do you think sold more? https://a.wholelottanothing.org/the-car-industry-a-b-tested-selling-the-same-car-with-and-without-carplay-and-the-results-are-not-shocking/

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    A guy (I’ve never met) down the street put this huge flag on his house and I’m convinced he’s either my new best friend or the worst neighbor imaginable, there is no in-between.

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    My partner is a grammar nerd, so whenever a worker at a store says “how are we doing today?” And I give a normal “Good!” response. She pauses, then says “Well.” I always let her know that I appreciate her use of proper grammar by saying “Whenever you do that, I love you a little bit fewer.”

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    hey siri, post a photo of the 50lb brick shithouse outdoor chair I just built in a couple hours using 2x6 pressure treated lumber and use the furthest distance photo and reduce the resolution so no one zooms in and sees all my mistakes, ok thanks siri

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    Does everyone in Portland know the story of the Film Exchange Building? It took me years to learn the fascinating backstory, which I just wrote up. https://a.wholelottanothing.org/unraveling-the-weirdness-of-the-portland-film-exchange-building/

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    every time I see 250th merch, the dates really do look like an epitaph on a gravestone for how long democracy lasted

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    When you’re sick with a summer cold, you should be entitled a $100 a day as a rebate against the amount of summer fun you are missing out on.

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    It’s weird to be at this Portland Fire vs Indiana Fever game because there’s a bunch of old creepy dudes in Cunningham jerseys parading around their anti-trans bullshit.

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    It’s strange to be in central California getting gas at a station and there’s anti-government posters on the pumps saying “high prices? Blame Sacramento! Vote those jerks out” but they’re not hand painted by cranks, they’re official Chevron ads.

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    John Hinckley Jr was a time traveler. He came so close to reversing the worst fiscal policies ever implemented by a president and saving the present day economy

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    I went to a baseball store and got a fancy new mitt and they asked me if I wanted it fully broken in and I said sure, but how? Turns out they have a 1,000lb hydraulic press that pummels your glove for an hour. I returned to a super soft, flexible mitt that feels like it was made with baby skin.

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    sunset, summer 2026

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    Shoutout to whoever wrote the geo-restricted TV streaming app I tried to use tonight with a mullvad vpn IP address set to different US cities that blocked me from playback, but when I picked a Canadian IP, it all worked fine. Thanks for leaving the backdoor open, anonymous coder!

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    another reason to love Hertz rental cars: if you drive one of their rental cars in Colorado and you hit any of Colorado&#39;s many every-lane-is-a-toll highways, normally Colorado takes a photo of your car then mails you a bill, but Hertz intercepts those and adds DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF TWO TOLLS onto it for &quot;convenience&quot;

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    on the Matt Damon to Josh Brolin continuum, today’s Matt Damon is closing in on the end of it [████████░░] 85%

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    Oh man I want one of these so bad https://ideas.lego.com/product-ideas/de0eda3f-84aa-4cfa-9fab-c9eb155ada80

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    Mt. Hood at sunset