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  Growing up, I didn't have a robot to ask when I didn't know something. I had my mom. She always knew the answers because she had read all about them in books, and she remembered them with her very own brain. It was a super effective system that did not require upgrades and used only a small amount of water and the occasional diet cola.

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  #JukeboxFridayNight #Waiting #musicThe Wonder Stuff - 30 Years In The Bathroom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS2AA27i0Ag

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  #JukeboxFridayNight #Waiting #music Sinéad O'Connor - Jackie (Lyrics) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3kSzNoQMiM

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  @AncTreat5358@lgbtqia.space I had some right from the oven but I’ll pass on the vegan butter, thanks. I could die tomorrow and I’d regret that.

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  How many lemon drops in a lemon ocean?

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  Zucchini bread is a vegetable.

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  Open faced avocado sandwich with diced Vidalia onions, a blend of Swiss and Gruyere cheeses, salt, pepper, and a dash of toasted cumin on French bread under the broiler until lightly browned. 😋 #food

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  If you're in your70s or 80s and all you have to show for it is perfectly grey hair, well done and also fuck off.

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  The explosive diarrhea epidemic needs a name. Too bad Operation Epic Fury was already taken.

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  Doesn’t matter what country or organization, this is what I think of whenever I see a flag.

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  It’s alway a pleasure to break out the Bette Davis meme.

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  I used to enjoy dystopian fiction, but I’m over it due to the sheer abundance of dystopian reality.

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  Me: Is it weird that I’ve developed a crush on Tom Jones? Him: I think it’s weird that you didn’t already have one.

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  Fireworks? Pffft! Bring back lawn darts, ya pussies.

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  RE: https://aoir.social/@aram/116816542188979880 We’ve officially reached the “Nixon was fine, actually” phase of fascist gaslighting.

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  Valley Of the Dal #AppetizersABook #HashTagGames

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  The Red Badge of Courgette #AppetizersABook #HashTagGames

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  Calamari Jane #AppetizersABook #HashTagGames

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  Focaccia In the Rye #AppetizersABook #HashTagGames

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  My body is a temple (of doom).

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  My mother-in-law is coming to dinner tomorrow. I sure hope those gummies arrive today. For me, not her, although I wish she’d eat one and just be cool.

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  My sister found my personal yearbook published on Ancestry.com. I threw it in the trash at least 10 years ago because it was full of a crazy number of embarrassing autographs that mentioned my boobs, which apparently were noteworthy. Now everyone who shares my DNA will learn of my outstanding gazongas and their legend will be publicly available for eternity. I am very much not ok with this. Childhood trauma reactivated. Fuck whoever did this.

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  Giuliani is in the hospital with pneumonia. Let’s all chip in and buy him a big box of those cigars that he likes.

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  Howard Zinn on active resistance. #MayDay

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  Happy 4/20, y’all!

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@vicfroh/116420560748878666 How exciting to learn of an actual biblical plague event happening in my lifetime.

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  My work ethic sucks. That’s why I’m so happy.

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  I just ate my first slice of a Detroit style pizza. The crust was an inch and a half thick, and the cheese added nearly another inch. The components tasted good, but I’d have enjoyed it a lot more if they had spread it out to make a pair of decent pizzas. The results appear conclusive. I’m strictly a NY style 🍕 girl.

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  The side ponytail is a bad girl hairdo. I don’t make the rules.

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  RE: https://flipboard.social/@newsguyusa/116395021209895640 Tired: Violating the 1st Amendment Wired: Violating the 1st Commandment