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  how it feels to wake up every morning in 2026

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  brats like you love to talk a big game before I pump them full of a massive overdose of my aphrodisiac. then they can’t really talk at all - especially not through all of the moaning and shivering at every little current of air flowing over their exposed skin. but I know through all of that, that you can still understand me. so I’m going to make sure you know exactly what I’m about to do to you good thing you didn’t notice me put my orgasm denial curse on you while you were teasing me. what wer...

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  the System Shock 2 remaster is free on Epic Games right now! CWs: this is a horror game with body horror and extreme corporate cruelty as central themes (these are the most prominent potentially triggering things but there are lots more so please look more into it if this is concerning)

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  I have a Fedi etiquette question for y’all: if you see one-half of a followers-only conversation between two Fedi users, do you just kinda pretend that you don’t see the conversation at all? or is it okay to like/favorite specific messages?

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  “Mickey Mouse? the Kingdom Hearts character?”

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  you’re unable to cum unless a stranger is watchingreaching orgasm is 10x more difficult but all pleasure is magnified 10xwearing clothes causes constant sexual pleasure which increases the more skin is covered. you’re unable to cum unless completely undressedevery time someone brings you to orgasm, your personality and body changes slightly to better suit their preferencesevery night, you’re afflicted with the same vivid lewd dream about serving the succubus. you’ll be unable to cum until you re...

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  the problem with grindy games in 2026 is grinding takes way too much brainpower “target the weak point”, “don’t forget to parry”, “keep your skill rotation up and don’t drop the combo”, “mine with perfect timing for optimal ore yields” Runescape would let you just click on colored rocks while dissociating and listening to 4 hours of drone metal

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  robotgirl domme with four configurable difficulty settings: hey, not too roughhurt me plentyultra-violencenightmare

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  friendly reminder that due to the effects of climate change Madeleine’s flesh will enter its mortification phase about one month early this year. that means the start of August is the perfect time to ensure your community is protected by taking early preventative measures, such as: burning sacramental itemsdrawing sigils on any unprotected doors and windows in your neighborhoodsalt-cleansing nearby cairnsif you studied Elder Futhark to prepare for Madeleine’s first arrival this is a good time t...

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  the gunplay of the #HalfLife games makes a lot more sense when you realize that Gordon is a theoretical physicist who has probably never fired a gun in his entire life before the Black Mesa incident “why does the SMG spray all over the place?” he doesn’t know that there’s a collapsible stock so he’s shooting exclusively from the hip “why can’t I aim down sights?” I’m not even sure if he knows what iron sights are

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  it’s a common misconception that vanilla is a flavor vanilla is not a flavor for the same reason that black is not a color: it describes the absence of flavor. vanilla can only exist when all flavors have been eliminated that’s why flavorless ice cream is called “vanilla”, flavorless pudding is called “vanilla”, and flavorless milk shakes are called “vanilla”. vanilla extract is a substance derived from tap water that actively leeches the flavor out of whatever it touches: a solipsistic distil...

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  they should make sensory-friendly arcades for autistic video game nerds like me. I wanna go to free play arcades too but not when every arcade game is flashing and screaming at me T_T

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  I was just sent this fascinating article about how C isn’t actually a low-level language, because no language can actually be low-level anymore https://queue.acm.org/detail.cfm?id=3212479 I’m still processing all of the implications of this, but it’s already fundamentally shifting how I think about programming and especially how I think about “low-level” languages like C and Rust

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  man: babe I am horny I need woman hole woman: I will expose woman hole for you babe man: *slaps her ass territorially* yes show me your filthy woman whole, dirty whore-slut woman: this arouses me man: *caveman grunt* foreplay is now over. I will jackhammer you babe woman: I will be inanimate for you babe man: you love how we can only conceptualize penis vagina sex babe? woman, fake-moaning like a porn star: yes babe I love how you have never touched my clit in our entire relationship man...

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  why does every VCS suck so much to work with maybe the entire concept is just inherently frustrating to deal with, because it’s so complicated to do what is essentially multiversal time travel that has to be kept in sync between an arbitrary number of computers but I hate it. I hate having to learn this shit in order to literally just collaborate with multiple people on a project. it becomes a clusterfuck pretty much the instant a single other person is working on the same repo as you

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  the way C and C++ handle pointer addition confuses me. like: int array[] = {1, 2, 3}; int *arrayPtr = &array; in this code I think of arrayPtr as a number representing the memory address of array. and given that it’s a memory address, if I add 1 to it it should move 1 byte forward in memory, right? except it doesn’t. if I do that: arrayPtr += 1; I just moved 4 bytes forward in memory instead. as in, I increased arrayPtr by 4 because I added 1 to it, because this is an int* and sizeof(int...

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  this used to confuse me as a kid but now it just irrationally annoys me

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  @Melezioh@mstdn.games RE: https://mstdn.games/@Melezioh/116693272428975429

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  @Melezioh RE: https://mstdn.games/@Melezioh/116647630243621569

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  I feel like I’m going to be in for such a culture shock once I start talking to IRL People™ “oh you don’t know what a doll is? it’s kind of like… well it’s a non-person, but it’s still a sophont. what do you mean you don’t know what a sophont is?! but you at least know what a bot is, right? do you understand it/its pronouns? wait hang on what do you believe about identity? you know that it’s inextricable from gender right? like for example if someone is plural- you don’t know what plurality is?...

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  I’m starting to think that FOSS projects should explicitly explain which problems are the user’s responsibility and which problems are the project’s responsibility - in a prominent place because often I’ll start using some FOSS but it turns out that I’m expected to put in a lot more work than I have the energy to, and when I complain about it people tell me that it’s my responsibility to make sure that that problem doesn’t happen. if I had known that that was going to be my responsibility, I wo...

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  just learned an incredibly versatile word: croustade An edible container (often of pastry) filled with a savoury foodbread bowl? that’s a croustade. taco shell? croustade. tortilla on a burrito? croustade. bread on a sandwich? croustade “edible container around a food that would otherwise be too messy to hold in your hands” is such a common thing and I’m so happy to have discovered a word for it!

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  95% of the time all you need to know about git is add, commit, push, and pull. maybe log if you want to see a list of commits but then the other 5% of the time it’s suddenly like !!! you didn't transverse the planes before ancilpating the forward inverse!! entering CRITICAL DATA RECOVERY MODE NOW!!! and I’m like “uhh uhh uhh” *frantically googles and copy-pastes a command that looks like git refdraft -qXR hdd::~475.2* “phew! that either fixed it or corrupted everything!” version contr...

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  I hate these things so much. they: take up more space than a checkboxare less intuitive than a checkboxare sometimes less colorblind-friendly than a checkboxare very inconsistent between UIsI’ve seen toggle switches where: left means onright means onlight grey means on (because “off” is a darker grey)light grey means off (because “on” is blue or green or teal instead)red means off (because green means on)there is basically no way to know whether these stupid things are on or off, because every...

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  idk if y’all remember my idea for a #Lisp where all expressions are actually #Lua -style tables, instead of linked lists like a normal Lisp. (I’m calling these expressions T-expressions btw, since they’re not quite the same thing as S-expressions, and they make Tables) but lately I’ve been trying to figure out a way to add symmetry between defining a variable and adding a key to a table. like here’s a table literal: '([key value] [key2 value2]) and ideally I’d love to be able to reus...

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  now that I’m done with C++ until my college class, I’ve moved on to making a CHIP-8 emulator in Python! which has been a lot of fun so far in theory I’ve implemented all of the basic instructions, but I’m currently in the process of writing unit-tests for all of them to make sure that they actually work https://gitlab.com/__kasdeya__/chip-8 I’ve already learned a lot about how the stack works at a very low level, and I’m getting much more of an intuition for low-level memory stuff in general...

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  and so Barzutecus came to the snake of the valley, and said: “snake of the valley, where might I find someone who might tell me where I might find my sword?” and the snake said: “speak unto the shepherd of Gilzuntermesh, and they who have experienced all things will teach unto you the location of your sword” and so Barzutecus traveled to Gilzuntermesh and he found the shepherd there. and he had the head of a dog and the legs of a doe. and the eyes of a salmon and the skin of a spider. and the...

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  using #neovim is like having a steampunk mad scientist invention that’s constantly shooting hot steam or sparking and trying to explode. it constantly breaks down and you keep having to tear through all the wires and pipes to find the specific part that was shorted by the tesla coil or melted by the charcoal burner but sometimes if you whack it with a wrench just right, say the correct incantation, and it doesn’t feel like exploding, you can get it to do amazing things

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  good news! after a lot of effort, I was able to enroll in a C++ class at my local community college bad news! I now have to learn C++ at my local community college. I’ve been reading an older version of the textbook so that I’ll be ahead of the class once it actually starts in June. I already hate nearly everything about this language

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  @valkyrie@wandering.shop RE: https://wandering.shop/@valkyrie/116472322220496938