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  I'm tired of being tired all the time.

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  It's always fun to see a meme I created in the wild.

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  Lots of talk about sowing wild oats, but no one ever reaps wild oats.

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  Thought I just had: "Sure, there's radio on the internet, but what if there was internet on the radio?" Friends, do not let your loved ones work late or they'll reinvent WiFi.

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  This meeting could have been a fart noise.

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  Hans Zimmer and John Williams get into a slap fight while their orchestras look on, aghast.

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  "Hot singles in my area" was how the coach let me know I needed to field better if I wanted to keep my job as shortstop.

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  Once again for anyone interested, here's how to strip the DRM from ebooks you've purchased: 1) Go to Anna's Archive. 2) Find the book there. 3) Download it. Seriously. Calibre has gone to slop and all the other options are questionable at best. If you've purchased the book, pirate a DRM-free copy. Anyone who cares is a cop.

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  #TIL that "ombudsman" is a word English stole from Swedish.

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  I just made hot sauce by blending pickled jalapeños, olives, and assorted sundries. It's mighty good. I'll have to do it again.

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  I regret to inform everyone that my copy of QBittorrent escaped its sandbox last night and downloaded a whole bunch of content owned by major corporations, and then my copy of Jellyfin broke containment and added those unfortunately-downloaded media files to its various libraries. I'm conducting an internal investigation to figure out how this happened, which will involve consuming these media files until the answers become apparent. Thank you for your cooperation during this trying time.

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  The number of people who believe that, because a *mythological magical* creature possesses some aspect of a natural one, it follows that they must possess all aspects of that natural creature, is staggering. So, a follow-up poll to my previous mermaid one: Does Pegasus lay eggs or give live birth? #poll #BoostsEnforcedByExplosion

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  I'm going to regret this, but if I were contemplating putting Linux Mint on my main computer, why would I want to decide on a BSD instead? #Linux #BSD

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  Vital question of our age: We're not going to argue about whether mermaids fuck, but we are going to argue about whether they give birth to live babies or lay eggs. #poll #BoostsMandatory

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  Once again I am begging for a fedi app which will let me hit a "I've seen this, please don't show it to me again after every single person I follow boosts it over the course of the next few days" button. I don't want to mute or block, I might even enjoy having seen it, but I don't need to see it seven thousand more times.

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  Every online ad ever: Me, wearing a black shirt, facing left: I'm about to do something extremely stupid! Me again, wearing a teal shirt, facing right: Hey kids, you know who else did extremely stupid things? That's right! Jesus! Me, wearing a black shirt, facing left: Wow. My life has been changed forev... Google Play Store: DOWNLOAD [INSERT DODGY APP HERE] NOW OR ELSE!

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  I'm not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a sheep in sheep's clothing. All the other sheep are nudists.

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  No, sorry, I will not be using "compute" as a noun. "Computation" exists and isn't a techbro weasel word. I'm not judging you if you use it, nor am I saying that it's not good English. I'm not being prescriptive. I fully expect the noun "compute" to be Webster's word of the year next year and that's fine. I won't be using it. Sorry.

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  Fireflies are actually beetles. This has been your irregularly-scheduled firefly fact.

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  Daft Punk keeps a file folder full of unfinished songs. That folder is labeled "Draft Punk."

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  People genuinely don't know how thermostats work. My mother-in-law is convinced that turning the thermostat down makes it get colder faster. As if thermostats store some Platonic ideal of coldness which they let out in percentages based on how low you turn them down. I have given up trying to explain that that's not how they work, and in exchange the air conditioner is operating at whatever the Platonic ideal of coldness believes is 70°F.

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  Anything you allow them to do to criminals, they will eventually do to you. I get that that's not a poem that well-meaning liberals can stand behind, but it's true. If you let them mistreat criminals, guess what, you're only a breath away from being a criminal. That's why, even if you don't have a moral objection to state-sponsored murder, you should have a practical one: if you let the state murder criminals, they'll try to murder you at some point. And I get that whi...

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  Take me down to Paradise City Where the grass is green And the girls are jockin' Mike D to my dismay

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  "There aren't any better alternatives to capitalism. History has tried them all..." I'm begging people to read some actual history.

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  We Didn't Shart the Fire

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  Speaking to white people and white people only, you benefit from systems of racism which you will never dismantle. You will always be racist. Act against that. Don't waste your time trying to undo your own past racism; be proactive and undo your future racism. Fight the system with the targets of it rather than trying to absolve yourself by removing yourself from it. What do I mean? You can't go back in time and give away your privilege. Instead, use whatever privilege you have...

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  Jazz enthusiasts calling Star Wars fans "nerds" is pretty rich.

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  "LLMs aren't going away" is no excuse to tolerate their use.

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  I have an organizational system. I forget where I put it, but it's around here somewhere.