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  Not enough rain, but plenty of potatoes. #Cats #CatsOfMastodon

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  It took a while, but I've finally been victimized by the US medical billing/insurance nightmare. I've been on the phone for six hours and have to wait thirty days for a resolution. The moral of the story is to always open your mail and never trust anyone to do the job they are paid to do, even if, and maybe especially if they explicitly say they are going to do it.

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  Sweetie. Darling. It's a LaCroix.

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  Bitches, I AM GRADUATED.

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  The Princess is Awake: A Tragedy in Four Frames. #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon #Cats

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  If anyone is selling two year medically induced comas that I can call an extended vacation or research sabbatical or something?

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  Someone was just informed by the household parliamentarian that there is no legal or historical precedent for cats eating sashimi-grade tuna. Ever. And, very certainly never twice in the same week. #CatsOfMastodon #Cats

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  The ridiculous size of the modern roaster chicken is a conspiracy. Big Meat™️ and the Lodge cookware company want you to think a seven pound chicken is perfectly normal, but it's not.

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  This is a nightmare for legibility and accessibility, and I can't wait for this trend in design language to go back to the unholy circle of hell whence it sprang. #Google #UI

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  Well, that was more of a rally than a protest. I'm a little disappointed to be honest.

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  The neighbors have finally, mercifully stopped with the karaoke. I couldn't care less about how loud their party is, but I was really starting to care about that because GOOD GOD.

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  First, the bats shut down the library. Then, the fools shut down the water.

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  This senior class (my class) at the university has: 1) Been traumatized by the transition to digital text books, 2) Has had to contend with losing something like 60% of all parking on campus, 3) Was deprived of the opportunity to hear a highly regarded speaker, 4) Will not be walking across our own stage in our own arena for commencement (no parking), ...and now has to be at the disgusting county coliseum for commencement at 07:00. 😡

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  Here's a lovely story about some lovely people adopting a lovely cat. https://friend.camp/@anna/116055163182664583

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  Corey Feldman is still alive?

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  One of the small handful of people I would be willing to go see in concert is Mika and he's performing in Boston on April 29th and Silver Springs on May 1st and the tickets are an unbelievably reasonable $65. Goddammit.

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  It's come to my attention that the putative president of the United States is not, in fact, illiterate. I will stop, but I will not apologize. #USPol

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  [Making memojis on my new phone] Where are the sliders for sun and smoking damage?

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  I'm just excited to be included.

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  Save paper by taking marriageable prospects to IKEA so you can have the argument that will end your marriage before you've even popped the question.

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  What do you people store your LEGO in? My collection is currently split between a large cardboard box and a childhood briefcase. I'd like something a little less... batshit. #Lego

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  @Kierkegaanks Booker T. Washington?

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  "Tastes just like grandma's!" isn't the compliment you think it is. But you go on, then.

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  Ya boy has four concurrently running social media campaigns on Instagram and somehow doesn't feel like he has to bathe in gasoline.

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  Don't "Captain, it's Tuesday" me, buckaroo. I'm bushed.

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  The green that won't quit...

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  I didn't get the funding for my masters program.

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  Now I need an entirely new future.