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  These days it seems like any time my phone rings, it's either the person I'm awaiting a call from or: 1. Somebody in Kolkata pretending to be from O2. 2. A dead, flat, boring voice pretending to be from Indeed, wanting me to add them on WhatsApp. 3. A recorded message from "VISA Fraud Department", leading to another voice from India telling me that my life is at risk if I don't give them my card details. They really don't like being told to &am...

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  @jadedtwin@corteximplant.com when I was a kid, if I asked a question of my parents and the eventual answer was "I don't know" it was usually followed by "we'll go to the library and find out". That imbued a lifetime of curiosity in my brother and I. Thanks, Dad 😊

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  @TwoClownsEating@beige.party @neonbubble@mstdn.social Heh, Brian Jacks and his oiled socks. What a great show that was. No way would today's elite sports stars do that. They might ruin their hair, or manicures.

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  Please excuse me a Proud Dad moment. Youngest got the best result for her course in her year for the first year exams at uni. At OXFORD. Yes, that Oxford. This is a young woman who struggled through school until the right diagnosis (which we had to fight for) unlocked all sorts of additional help and teaching/learning methods. If you're a parent of an ND child or children, keep up the fight for them. It's worth it, and I hope it works out for you. #ProudDad

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  RE: https://cyberplace.social/@greem/116850052804160535 In a few minutes it'll be 4 years since I was picking bits of F1 racing car out of a barrier. I hope nobody has to today. Here's to a good, safe race everyone. #F1 #BritishGrandPrix #Silverstone

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  Well that was a complete mess. #F1 #BritishGrandPrix #Silverstone

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  @katemorley@hachyderm.io beautiful, isn't it? I went out to see if I could catch the display but we had 100% cloud cover at a really low level 😔

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  My hotel room last night either had a hairdryer or something from a book by @cstross in it.

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  The house is unnaturally empty and quiet, as Doglet has gone to the kennels. It's almost time... #BigCanadaTrip

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  In honour of a number of people I know who identify as female bemoaning, repeatedly, men insisting on explaining (often incorrectly) stuff to them, here's A Thing. Feel free to use it. #WellActually #Mansplaining

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  Well, dammit. Zanardi finally copped it, after cheating the reaper twice. One of the nicest people to walk the earth, and with such amazing drive. This is a sad day. #Zanardi #RIP https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/articles/cvgz0kpxjpgo

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  This morning looks a little different to usual... #BigCanadaTrip

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  Ah, I'm still not getting it Ted. Well, Dougal...

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  I know, it's the morning, but it's still wine o'clock somewhere in the Empire! (Not a nightmare at 34000 feet) #BigCanadaTrip

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  @wrmsr I used to be able to hear that photo.

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  Happy mailman day, everyone! #mailman #gnu #reminders

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  Things that never happen: Phoning the GP surgery at 0800 to join the Monday morning thundering herd. Getting through on the first dial. Getting an appointment for 0900. It happened! I'll do the lottery this week 😁

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  RE: https://mastodon.online/@brianbilston/116475587389426038 AAAAAARGH not that one!

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  Another one bites the dust. Not that he'd have played that track on many of his radio shows, mind you. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn9qprx2ljlo #AndyKershaw

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  I may have reached another level up in my middle class cookery skills. I had some spuds to cook, and they needed trimming to a shape. I made the offcuts into salt and vinegar crisps. There's none left *burp*

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  ...also, dear reader, entirely predictably the files were not in OneDrive or SharePoint. The app itself that they used can no longer be found. The data is lost to the sands of time, and the work done by that member of staff is entirely wasted. On top of that, we have absolutely no idea what the person was using (apart from Copilot) and no way to find out. I hate this. We're all being pulled down to the lowest possible level by this apparently epoch-level creation. #AsinineInstructions

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  I'm in Belgium this weekend. The reasons for this aren't really relevant. Tonight I went to the Menin Gate for the first time, to witness the Last Post - a ceremony that's been done at 8pm local time since the memorial was built, excepting during WW2. I cried. There are 54000 names on the Gate, none of them have a known grave, and every night their lives and loss are commemorated. This is astonishingly powerful. I also drank beer, but that's not important righ...

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  Good morning from Ypres, pocket friends. It's a bright, clear, cold day and I'm going slow. Meanwhile three of my friends are out pounding round a cycling route which is a little easier than yesterday's, which involved a number of classic cobbled climbs used in the Tour of Flanders. They're mad! (Both the climbs and the cyclists). Today may well include the Tyne Cot cemetery. I'm not sure I'm ready for it, but there we are. What's happ...

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  I'm hoping that the Nuclear Football, the case with the launch codes that's supposed to accompany the US President, has been replaced with a case containing an actual football. I do not want to be woken in the night. I'd like to be able to go on the trips I've arranged.

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  A 94 point match with the two teams separated by 2 at the final whistle. That's one of the best rugby matches I've ever watched. Well done, France. You squeaked it. #FRAvENG #M6N

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  A 94 point match with the two teams separated by 2 at the final whistle. That's one of the best rugby matches I've ever watched. Well done, France. You squeaked it. #FRAvENG #M6N

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  Serious post, please boost... On #InternationalMensDay here's your periodic reminder, fellow AMAB & prostate carrying people who are over 50: Go see your doctor. Don't put it off. Ask for a DRE or a PSA test. Yes, DRE means a finger up your bum, get over it. They probably won't find anything wrong, but if they do then early intervention will help you avoid the situation I'm in. PSA units should be 3-5; mine was 1206 and my prostate about the size of an orange. Stage 4 c...

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  A rather comical conjunction of posts just appeared in my timeline thanks to @cstross@wandering.shop, XKCD and @lhcstatus2@vmst.io