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  Before dx: fetch water, chop wood After dx: understand why and fetch water, chop wood #ActuallyAutistic

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  #ActuallyAutistic Rock, paper, scissors: Habit beats goblin mode Goblin mode beats meltdown Meltdown beats habit To soon? 😀

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  @barefootrambling I think I read the first sentence and said fuck this. I won't open it again to check lest I explode. @autistics

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  After what for many would be a great weekend away, showing my wife around a beautiful city I know well, visiting my daughter and her wife to see my new granddaughter (who watched me while I held her, then slept in my arms), staying at a dogtastic BnB (puppy included) with a very social and helpful host and eating out *twice*, plus long drives there and back... ..this #ActuallyAutistic is in spoon deficit. I'd even say in shock for want of a better description. But at least now I realis...

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  The void where I'm awaiting a response from someone is terrible for me. For example a text or email, or even a letter (less so). It feeds into my #ActuallyAutistic #anxiety. I used to connect this with trauma, due to a temporary separation from my mother when very young but am wondering if it's mostly autism. The anxiety of being with uncertainty which I know well in other contexts. Do other autis experience this?

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  Have I ever mentioned how wonderful my wife is? 🤣 Yesterday for ex, she told me her friend is visiting with her partner and two kids, who I've not met. [Me, invisibly enters brace position] She explained how one of the kids wants to see her engine (we live on boats) and asked if I'd like to join them. I answer no immediately. She says, that's ok, I didn't think you would but if you want to of course you can. ❤️ #ActuallyAutistic ❤️

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  @meadow In this case I don't see much difference between a bot and a hashtag. People only see a hashtagged post because they are following the hashtag or the bot that reshares it. So what's the difference?

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  Today I completed the last task in the administration of my mum's estate. It's been very stressful because of how difficult I find uncertainty. Dealing with people and systems involved has been knee deep in unreliability and uncertainty. Nothing works any more - many things once did btw. I was surprised that grief came up after the last simple action was done. Now it's just me and mum, I can just remember and grieve. I've done the last thing she asked of me and...

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  Thoughts: 1. #Unmasking is great, difficult but IME a good thing... unless it causes difficulties. No point doing this with people who are going to make your life worse because of it. 2. If my mask is in effect, my little allistic self, a protection in a hostile world, I should treat him with respect and kindness, because he's on my side. 1/2 #ActuallyAutistic

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  If anyone appears in my feed from another platform due to a bot I block them. If you're not here, I'm not interested. #ActuallyAutistic

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  In days I'll be able to finalise the affairs of my mum who died five months ago. Dealing with the unreliable, obtuse system has been difficult, and with family members too. Even though the latter was generally ok, earlier dealings when mum went into a home left me full of anxiety whenever I deal with them. Fuckers. Soon I'll have very little occasion to interact with them at all and I just might open some champagne to toast my "did her best" mum and celebrate...

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  Remembering #BillOddie who has died age 85 and the laughs he gave me as a child working with his buddies in #TheGoodies every week. The "jockey compound" and "apart height"? Funky gibbon🙏 Despite success of The Goodies, top 40 and one top ten single, helping create and star in the genre of nature TV. After all that he said his most lucrative work was voiceovers for ads. The money for poisoning people's minds was more than all that. What an awful syst...

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  24 Hours and no acknowledgement from #SmileBank of my complaint. They've relocked my account immediately after unlocking it at the cost of a 35 minute phone call, and I have no idea if they are even aware of it. I can't face another call because I'm #ActuallyAutistic and just when life was calming down, they do this for no reason they can give me. Twice in one day. Fuckers. Smile, AKA #CoopBank. Yeh right, look at my face.

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  I'm still learning how sensitive I am (in my sixties, late self dx #ActuallyAutistic). A "small" thing happens, I'm nonverbal in shock and panic, but without realising it. After a few minutes of listening and watching inside myself, comes recognition and understanding. I begin processing, thoughts become more balanced and I eventually reach safety and can respond to the cause - a shout from my wife - without blame, or wanting her to not do that. She hears me, I hear her and...

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  Just remembered why I like #ThePredator. It's not just because it's funny and a good #movie, it's inclusive and shows several people who aren't normies in a good light. #ActuallyAutistic Oh, and quote "You know, a lot of experts say that, being on the spectrum isn't really a disorder. It's actually the next step in the evolutionary chain.". #ActuallyAutistic