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  I enjoyed the closed captioning mis-rendering Sisqo's famous lyric in The Thong Song as "I think you heard me". We sure did. #totp

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  Is this..."do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" performeed *live*?!? May we have this archive forever. #totp

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  I haven't seen anyone posting the Tuck Everlasting quote yet this year 😢

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  I can get behind Elton cosplaying as Chris Lowe. #totp

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  dafuq ?!? #totp

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  Logging onto dating apps on a Friday night, you might say they're a form of a beau selector. #totp

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  Getting stuck into putting together graphic assets for my choir's upcoming concert. We're singing all songs from films, so I need one slide per song with a collage of movie scenes. I've snuck a peach into the "Call Me By Your Name" slide 😈 🍑

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  45:52 8K, including a 28:01 5K. Strava's happy with that, I'm happy with that.

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  Now playing at Tesco Express: Shanice - I Love Your Smile

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  "Please enjoy a song from the lesbian Afro-Norwegian funk duo, Nefertiti's Fjord."

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  Wait, so Allbirds isn't an RSPB-like avian enthusiasts club?!

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  Hivemind: any recommendations for places to eat in Shoreditch?

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  (in a strong Aussie accent) ANAGRAM indicator!

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  Superbloom day. I've found the singles to be perfectly fine but overly subtle so far. Will Jessie Ware's latest be a banger-free zone? Stay tuned.

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  Unsure whether the densest thing in my rucksack at present is my heavy chain link necklace or my ThinkPad. Either way, it feels like I'm carrying lead 😵

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  Skimbleshanks, Rumpleteazer, Grizabella, & co. were in the Gillian Lynne Theatre from 1981 until 2002, where I'm seeing My Neighbor Totoro today. They've gone from Cats to Catbus.

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  My Neighbour Totoro was bloody brilliant. Saw a line of 20 pink furry pedicabs outside Matilda as it ended. I told one of the drivers "with this many of you, I thought this was the Mamma Mia theatre". He smiled and laughed :)

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  Going For Dinner With Billie Piper Greek, Frith, Dean, Wardour, Berwick, Poland The only mnemonic you need in #soho #london

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  I was surprised to be able to outrun Lime bike riders on a Boris bike today. I guess I do have thunder thighs after all.

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  "The Fate Of Ophelia" does not deserve as many plays as Kings Arms has given it tonight. Lycan subscribe for more music hot takes.

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  Celebrity sighting: Fiona from The Traitors at Málaga Airport.

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  Discovered a new-to-me group last night: Fangoria. Get in my veins, electropop!

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  A proud pigeon and bemused statue in Torremolinos. #torremolinos #pigeon

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  Revisiting Madonna's 2012 Super Bowl performance after seeing it mixed into the rotation at a gay music video bar last night. There's a lot to cringe at, and the cameos are best ignored apart from a better-than-expected LMFAO. There's also a lot to like, particularly the opening shots of a legion of Roman soldiers towing Madonna on field to the tune of "Vogue" and a drumline-enhanced "Open Your Heart". For pure spectacle, the show is of...

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  I found Málaga to be surprisingly beguiling. We'll start with the bit I forewarned my friends about with "if you don't want hardcore Catholicism on this trip, that's fine". On Easter Sunday, I saw bits of the final Semana Santa procession of the year. An ancient tradition featuring penitents in capirotes and hundreds of people carrying shrines to Jesus and Mary. I enjoyed seeing bits of humanity and modernity, such as organisers with radios and water b...

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  JFC, Wyna Liu...

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  Stay tuned for this Agatha Christie/Scooby Doo crossover special, "Poiruh-roh".

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  My rubber plant is looking very happy this morning. #rubberplant #houseplants #bloomscrolling

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  Did Joel Dommett stop by Regulation on his way to the Taskmaster House? Woof. #taskmaster

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  Saw the out-of-town tryout of The Greatest Showman musical tonight. Fkn ell, that was good.