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  #milf

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  returned home to find a headless mouse on my doorstep. a message from the local cat mafia

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  my hobbies include cooking, playing music and peeling translucent protective layers i only just spotted off consumer electronics items i purchased over a year ago

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  the best dolly parton song is jolene played at 35rpm

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  you can tell my son is british because he just fell down some stairs and apologised to the stairs

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  geek on the streats bleak in the sheets

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  working hard? or learning about the history of tartan patterns on wikipedia during work hours

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  13:37 time 4 gamers

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  i've had an iphone for a month now and while it's obviously excellent in most ways the face id is sooo much worse than a fingerprint sensor i don't know why this is a thing

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  it's been ten years and i still get a chuckle out of "brexit means breakfast"

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  i am bringing back arrow to the knee for the 15th anniversary

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  enjoy jorts.horse the way it's creators intended by creating a 24h live stream of every post read out by microsoft sam

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  a man is in a dive bar drinking his sorrows away, trying to find the words to say to his wife at the bottom of the bottle after losing everything on the stock market. barkeep puts his arm around him and asks, what went wrong? through tears the man replies: "goose was not valued"

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  cold brew coffee is not adopted enough in britain it's not good enough

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  pathetic black box, no personality, ridiculous price, doesn't even have a handle

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  when i was about 14 i tried to add star wars day to the wikipedia page for the 4th of may, and a moderator rejected it saying it was a lame joke even the worst daytime radio presenter wouldn't make. well who's laughing now buddy? that's right. the unstoppable death march of capitalism

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  linux and macos will never be as popular as windows until they include a weezer video in the base os install

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  anna's archive really is something isn't it

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  done some research. can't find any examples of clocks full of peas sorry guys

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  @NickGates all blow no show

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  with the 53rd pick of the mastodon draft, jorts.horse select :sm64_p: :sm64_i: :sm64_s: :sm64_s:

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  my time is valuable, this is why i post while i piss

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  smash that like button and don't forget to put conkers in the corner of your room to keep spiders away

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  quiche that's been done a million times call that a quliché

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  you know what after 14 years i think i'm finally coming around on gangnam style

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  everyday just do one thing to make the world a better place. ask an old lady if she needs help with her shopping. pick up some litter. put beans in a clock. it's all enriching the world around you for the people you love and your community.

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  who's got a link cable

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  the number one thing you need to remember about setting up a website is thinking of a catchy url

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  panic! at nabisco