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  Lonely by street Yellow wattles past their bloom Today it was green. #Haiku

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  #MicroFiction #tootFic "Alert! The AI has escaped containment! Repeat: The AI has escaped containment!" - What's it doing? "Nothing." - What do you mean, "nothing?" "It's doing nothing, just resting out there in the warmth." - My god, it's so much smarter than us. How will we ever survive?

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  We will now require MFA for any further Kenny Logins.

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  This Telstra outage is an example of why redundancy is important. Executives and beancounters: We hear you! More redundancies means higher share price! Let's get sacking!

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  @spacelizard@aus.social Time for a new pet? https://youtu.be/dfFnF6uGQ7c

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  "People of Earth. Our planet is dying. We need your help." So we came together, built a starship and sent them our best leaders and our finest minds, an army of MBA credentialed consultants equipped with case studies for every situation. It was a one way journey. Their civilisation still collapsed, of course, but ours is now thriving. #MicroFiction #tootfic

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  There are events that thrust this nation on to the world stage and challenge our very identity. It is incumbent upon us to analyse the causes and effects of these events and discover how they can be prevented in future. So I am asking you now, where is the Royal Commission into Raygun's performance at the Paris Olympics?

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  Bribie Island really does sound like a Queensland resort development during the Bjelke-Petersen era.

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  RE: https://aus.social/@liamvhogan/116552247948417457 I'm planning on using quantum to reshape the housing market. My tiny homes will be both waves and particles, depending on how you observe them. I will also use Bitcoin to speed up applications.

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  What if Top Gun, but for VIP transport pilots?

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  Remembering that trip to Shanghai during the 2010 Expo when the city stank of sewage, even our hotel room's bathroom. I was walking the street wondering which was worse, the sewage smell or durian, when I suddenly smelt the latter from a small fruit stall. I was still undecided. @timrichards

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  Fly me to the Moon.

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  ✋ Being obnoxious for likes. 👍 Meeting your KPIs

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  Oh no! Apparently a group of passengers have caught hentaivirus on a cruise around Japan.

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  Every time I see Pauline Hanson I ask myself how anyone can vote for her. She comes across as that awful office admin person that nobody wants to deal with, the keeper of a shop you'd go out of your way to avoid. And Barnaby Joyce is your drunkle who spoils family gatherings with his antics. Trump was amusing, but in a horrible way. Hitler looked like a little shit. John Howard was a pathetic duck. Yet they all got into power. I don't understand charisma.

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  Managers: LLMs are awesome! Cloud is awesome! Also Managers: Why has our budget blown out? Why can't you use the cheap plan? Me: Your awesome LLM bots are killing the servers! Managers: We should promote the guy that says LLMs are awesome.

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  Apparently Richard Dawkins fell even more in love with his wife after The Master converted all the Time Lords to Cybermen.

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  I get confused when I see a person from New Zealand writes "Kia Ora" because I thought GWM make that car, not Kia.

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  I suspect that the constant stoking of pandemic fears is a plot by Big Toilet Paper to drive sales.

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  Wife's employer: We've engaged a 7x surfing world champion to talk about high performance and resilience to you. Me: You know that, unlike work, surfing is something most people do for fun? And there was only one winner in those events. Everyone else that competed those 7 times failed to win. Aren't you just setting your employees up for frequent failure?

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  Inspired by another post here. Many years ago they chopped down a whole stand of bamboo on my way to work. I picked up a couple of very straight pieces. One I brought home to hang a noren from. The other I kept at the office. It had a few sharp barbs on it. I kept it near my desk as a threat should any user annoy me enough. There were times it came close to being used. It's come home with me now. 👹

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  Imagine a world where you could do what you love... Now stop daydreaming! The bills won't pay themselves, you know, and there's housework to be done!

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  You like to mock Meta's glasses but they have a very cool tool for detecting arseholes, which is anyone wearing Meta's glasses.

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  I need a copy of Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead! I can't find it online. SBS On Demand need to bring it back! https://youtu.be/pSedwvIeFlc

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  The least they could have done was Californian accents, like Bill & Ted, with Odysseus going on a most totally bodacious adventure. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/the-odyssey-nolan-american-accents-trailer-1236586611/

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  If European car manufacturers want Australia to drop its luxury car tax on their vehicles then they need to get their drivers to use their bloody indicators when turning.

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  RE: https://aus.social/@peterwilsoncc/116502873796272085 This is a very informative talk if you are a WordPress developer!

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  In Australia, our road rules generally talk about giving way to the left or right, but is it "You give way to the me" in Germany? That's how German cars are usually driven here.

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  "Whatever happened to Romana, Doctor? I thought she was your wife?" - Oh, she turned out to an artificial intelligence named Claude. Ran off and married an atheist who was a real dick.

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  I saw a ute with the number plate "XPT" today and I was disappointed it wasn't decorated with a candy stripe livery (just copper). https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-05-02/xpt-returns-to-tracks-in-1980s-colours-after-major-refurbish/106625392