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  Rite of passage, I’m told.

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  Step 0: You don’t. You are Cat’s subject, all you ever were belonged to Cat when you were no more than a gleam in your parents’ eyes. “Negotiation” is devoid of meaning to you. You are perfectly happy.

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  ✋😥🤚 w-what, I–

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  I occasionally check out Colbert’s and Kimmel’s YouTube channels, and seeing the kinds of conservative men flagellating themselves in the comments demonstrates this to be eminently true.

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  Their blessing is bounded by the curse of not knowing that knowing mine is the cause of their demise.