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Toast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus

ShiitakeToast@beige.party

<p>I probably shouldn&#39;t be saying this. This is my shitposting handle for stuff that I don&#39;t necessarily want the boss to see. He/him. Here for jokes and cats, mostly. Profile pic is a smiling clipart cartoon mushroom. Header is a schematic of a public bathroom. Taking a little social media break. I’ll be back tho</p>

Posts

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    Querying the database? I thought you said queering the database. My bad. I’ll delete.

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    Ask not for whom the cat meows She&amp;#39;ll bite your knee

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    @YakyuNightOwl

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    With all the nonsensical debate society bullshit being spread around, it’s time to quote Sartre again: #FreeSpeech

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    At a Mexican restaurant there’s a 6 year old singing the beans beans make you toot song, but has added several lines including “beans make you happy beans make you strong eat your beans all day long” while shoveling refried beans into his mouth. #SendToot

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    &amp;quot;I bit a girl and I liked it&amp;quot; - Kitty Perry

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    Some people bring their pets with them everywhere for support. I bring my favorite woodworking tool. It’s my coping saw.

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    We’re all in Jeopardy.

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    Anti-caking agent provocateur #DadJokes

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    As someone with a hard to spell name, I think the intentionally misspelled “unique” name trend is frustrating for the children. But I would understand unique aspirational names if they were actually about your aspirations for the child. Want your kid to be an Olympic champion swimmer? “Swimothy Fishman”. A Fields Prize winner? “Mathilda Pi”. World renowned brain surgeon? “Fixi M’noodles”.

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    Imagine being a Belgian child forced to work 12 hours a day in a poorly lit factory sewing Brussels sprouts so that another child in a far off country can make gagging noises about them on Thanksgiving.

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    The Sepp Blatter Prize for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Competitive Corruption

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    Some stupid academic fun: https://ensala.fr/AcademicSentenceGeneratorMod2/AcademicTextGenerator.html

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    One day, I will tell you about the adventures I’m on. Today is not that day.

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    A few weeks ago, kiddo, a minor, lost a necklace. In a desperate attempt to find it, I posted a sketch of it on Craigslist lost and found. No PII, only the anonymized Craigslist email forwarding to another anonymous throwaway email alias. I have had no luck. But today I did get an email from a weird pervert offering to buy me jewelry in exchange for… Ugh. Why are men.

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    I just saw, side by side, toots about AI teledildonics and AI being fed the tech support tickets of failed startups, and I just can’t wait until the AI teledildonics tech support tickets start showing up with random intimate PII. /s

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    Feelin’ old

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    If Croesus goes to war with Persia he will destroy a great empire.

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    🐡poisson d’avril

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    Just saw someone waffle stomp a kiwi fruit into a subway grate. #nyc

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    I admit it. I’m banksy. That’s why I’m anonymous.

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    Feline personhood amendment. Full constitutional rights from the time of catception.

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    After a challenging week capped by a tough workout, there’s nothing like a shower beer. The contrast between the hot water and the cold brew… the relaxing effect of steam and alcohol… slightly transgressive but not gross like the sitting on the toilet beer… And, of course, delicious. It’s a great experience. The shower nachos, on the other hand, were a complete failure.