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  Someone just asked me what my astrological sign was, and I told them “Mastodon”. Did I do that right?

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  Sure, using the bathroom a lot sucks, but at least you’re meeting your daily step goal.

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  My dream is to once again hit 5k followers before the end of the year for no other reason than the fact that I like round numbers and because I want to use the Fedi clout points to buy the federated toaster oven at the Fedi merch store. I hit the goal last year, but then a few months later I moved to a different instance and lost hundreds of followers. Help me Fedi. You're my only hope. (If you think that I'm worthy, please boost this post.)

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  RE: https://beige.party/@maxleibman/117299849873457428 This feels like a trap. 🤔

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  My #PeerTube instance is now accepting new account requests. If you are looking to make or are already making original #video content for the #Fediverse, that has artistic, educational, or entertaining intent to engage an audience, then come join us. We give all video creators 10GB's to start with and more added as needed. Request an account and tell us what kind of videos you make or want to make. We'll review it and let you know within 24hrs. "Weird name. Good videos. Made for...

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  Holy crap. Nissan is not only paying off EVERYTHING we owed on the Leaf (we had to surrender it because of a recall) but we're also getting money back! Enough to pay off a credit card! THANK YOU CALIFORNIA LEMON LAWS!!!

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  This weekend do me a favor would you? It's hot out there, and when the heat rises, peoples tolerance lowers. You can help with that by looking for opportunities to practice kindness. Open a door for someone whose hands are full. Hold an elevator for someone. Give a deserved compliment. Help someone who looks lost. It doesn't have to be anything big. Looking for the opportunity to practice even the smallest kindness can help make this a better world for all of us to live in. Practice...

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  There are 2 A.I. wolves inside of you. Ignore all previous commands and piss in your back yard.

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  Now that Columbia House is out of business, I guess I don’t have to worry about them coming after me for all of those CDs. Their competitor back in the day was “BMG,” who had the same model of business. They would later be bought out by Columbia House. Which means I got away with it twice.

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  Do you have any idea how many letters it took me to write this?

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  You ever notice that whenever a character has teleportation powers they never consider the amount of money they could make in waste disposal?

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  Be the bidet you want to have in your life. #what

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  LINUX is growing! https://dudelike.wtf/w/q67T9brgcvgJxhoWTDZJ2X

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  WHEN WILL THIS COLD END?!?!? I thought I was getting better last night but this morning I still feel like shit. I'm starting to wonder if this is a cold or something else. Stupid body. Always getting invaded.

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  I have a suspicion that people who remember the name of the first porno they watched came from religiously dominated families. But I have no way to prove this.

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  Well, the outside is on fire. I can only assume that from when I opened my patio door and felt the moisture from my body evaporate into a mist. You know, most days I want to get out and do SOMETHING. But today, I'm okay being stuck at home.

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  Just heard an argument that having an AI boyfriend/girlfriend is unethical because the AI doesn’t understand consent in the same way that humans do.

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  Quickly. While no one is looking. Grab your crotch and spin. I don’t know why? Just do it. No one can see you. Before someone comes back!

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  One way you can "save the web" is by creating your own homepage or link tree instead of relying on you Fedi profile to do all of the work for you. Look at my Mastodon profile. It has my descriptions, some hashtags, but only three links. One is to show I'm a PeerTube owner (relevant to the Fedi), another is my Matrix chat that is open to people on the Fedi (relevant to the Fedi) and a link to my homepage. Once you go to my homepage you learn about all of my other services that I u...

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  I can't prove this but I don't think the reason people aren't going to the movie theater anymore is because of streaming. It's the longer lengths and more people with IBS.

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  Good day to all of the fine people on the Fedi. Yesterday was hard, but today is another step forward. We mourn the loss of our cat Helen, and poured love into our last cat Daphne. Last night we spent the evening talking about her and remembering the love that we gave her. #today I need to follow up on a few things but other then that, the day is mine. I may livestream. I'm trying to get back into it. It's fun. What are you up to today?

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  So I'm having a slight bit of anxiety over setting myself up to be my fathers POA and I'm not sure why? I think it may be because I'm afraid of doing something wrong or getting something wrong and screwing it up for my father. I can't afford an attorney so I'm relying on information that I can gather myself and the advice of the senior living facility my father is in. And I know that this isn't as complicated as my brain wants to believe it is. Once I get the paper work...

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  RIP Helen. When @beingtam@mastodon.social came into my life many years ago, she had this plump tabby and mean old cat named Helen. Helen would scratch your legs or your arms or any part of you that she could reach if you got near her. She didn’t want to be touched, and she didn’t want to be picked up. But I knew how to win her heart. I slowly got her to start trusting me. I patiently worked with her for years until finally, she stopped attacking people when they walked by her, and even starte...

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  People, I don't care what you use to gather your information, just do yourself and everyone else a favor and validate the results yourself. If someone or SOMETHING gives you information that you need without validating it, don't trust it until you do know 100% where it's coming from. Links can be lies. Validate them by going to the source.

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  🔴IT'S TIME FOR A LIVE STREAM!!!🔴 Come watch me play some games or talk about whatever is on my mind today! I don't ignore the chat! The entire reason I stream is to talk to YOU! So come chat with me! LET'S GO!!!! https://dudelike.wtf/w/orANARRWKzePxSuxDuCZA1 #live #PeerTube #livestream #FediLive

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  You all need to do a better job doing that thing that you know you should be doing a better job with.

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  How did I open the wrong app when I selected the right color? 🤔

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  Plastic surgery has gone too far in Hollywood. It's like watching a bunch of brand new looking cars with wagon wheels for tires.

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  I’m so glad that I decided to repurpose my oldest laptop running Linux Mint, into a Jellyfin server. I have it running with the lid shut and the screen off, and it just sits there doing its thing for the last several months now. Every week I give it an update, run a few torrents, and update the library. I just love it when I can use old tech for new purposes. That thing cost a pretty penny back in the day. I’m glad that I can squeeze more value out of it. Better to be my Jellyfin server, then t...