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  ”Why can’t he just shut the fuck up?” Hypothesis: literally everyone will know who no matter where in the world they live

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  Seasons 3 and 4 of Ted Lasso are rather shit, and deviates from the character driven plots of the first two seasons

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  Piet Mondrian was admitted to the academy of arts, thank God

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  Denmark and the United States signed a deal about increased military presence on Greenland… which would have been the sane thing to do to begin with…. If the godking of America had been sane and not demented

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  @HadasWeiss@mastodon.social my remaining hopes and dreams

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  I hated hearing about ed sheeran even before he failed a moral test

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  I sat my ass down on a park bench next to some kind of corvid busy cleaning its plume. I told it, aren’t you the cutest. It glared at me like I was stupid and took off

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  Today I saw a tow truck carrying an ambulance. It was just the saddest thing ever.

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  Make Elon hate the EU for a good reason for a change

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  The academics sacrificing at least 5 years of their careers by going on a starship to an unknown place in outer space in ”Prometheus” are probably not the best in their fields

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  Offering POTUS a gift

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  Captain Janeway at 21

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  ”I’m too pretty to ____” Choose your own adventure

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  Winner

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  The global human population consumes approximately 4.4 trillion liters (or about 4.4 cubic kilometers) of pure oxygen per day, based on an average consumption of 550 liters of oxygen per resting individual and an estimated total population of 8 billion people.

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  Jimothy looks like Danny DeVito in his Penguin costume

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  Peer reviews are shit. Why would I want to be reviewed by an idiot?

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  Yelling at toddlers in band tees for being posers

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  What?! Why would I settle down? I’m 50! -BoJack Horseman

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  President Trump asks infantino to find two more goals for his friend Milei

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  Why is someone screaming star spangled banner leading in to Argentine-Spain?

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  Das Secure Boot

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  Will England leave Messi crippled?

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  It took 4 years from looting the armory on july 14 before France ”removed” their king

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  Let me offer a felt song of the day https://youtu.be/-4SnIJJCH8w Fire - The crazy world of Arthur Brown

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  Molotov them if they persist

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  It’s like déjà vu all over again

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  Lindsey was in Ukraine yesterday. Maybe he came down with a case of Shaheed or Novichok?

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  Lindsey Graham’s afterlife features only women

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  Suffering writers’ block and that woman with a head shaped like a parking meter asking you how it’s going every twenty minutes. I love how they blame the hotel -Bill Burr being old Bill Burr about The Shining