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  It is stunning how some people’s writing styles have changed recently

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  Dearest Apple, What about “Delete & Report Spam” makes you think I want taken to the spam folder?

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  I entered a contest to win a car. I’m half glad the odds are against me. Could I even afford to insure the thing? I’d be afraid to drive it anywhere, or to park it

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  YouTube has been putting image posts with Twitter screenshots in my feed. And it’s not bad content, but, like, why? A text or image post from creators I follow is one thing, but are they trying to be all the sites?

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  I reached for my work mouse, and my hand expected it to be my gaming trackball instead. Good programming.

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  I went to the whole damn supermarket and forgot to buy ketchup

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  I do not have the words for how asinine the proposed federal electric car tax would be

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  The kind of person who would send out a customer satisfaction survey is definitely the kind of person who would send out a reminder about a customer satisfaction survey

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  Legitimately found myself thinking, “This email should have been a meeting.”

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  @blp I went to school with somebody from Bulgaria who tried peanut butter and liked it before she found out what it was. I’m told peanuts are just animal feed over there.