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  If someone were to promise you "double pudding" tomorrow, which would you expect:

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  Sexual Health Services in #Nottinghamshire have a survey about their current website: https://www.sexualhealthnn.co.uk/latest-news/sexual-health-services-nottingham-and-nottinghamshire-website-feedback-survey/ However, nobody who visits a sexual health clinic every really wants to fill in a survey - and nobody every wants to fill in a survey about "what do you think of our website". So the whole of the NHS design will be based on the 16 people who have replied. You can help! Fill it...

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  On the way to the pub we walk across The Green, where the adults from the dance studio had decamped to work on their performance. We then met a 70+ neighbour who was out washing his car. Arriving at the pub we met his partner and told her we'd just said hello. "Was he still washing his car?" Yes, we stopped and had a chat as he did it. "Were the dancers still on the green?" Yes, they, were... Oh. The penny drops. He doesn't normally wash t...

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  Remember, it isn't about one team losing or one team winning; at the end of it all the real winner is football*. * FIFA's bank account.

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  We are assuming that there was a goal. Massive cheer from the pub followed by the power supply to the whole village going off! #Ruddington

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  If the water companies are running short of water couldn't they just withhold dividends from shareholders and then harvest their tears?

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  Everyone aged under 55 learnt about climate change at school. The country is now run either by people older than that or people who failed to learn anything at school.

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  Was sat on a bus with two Americans talking about their upcoming visit to "Daar-bi-shy-air", I resisted the temptation to ask them to say Loughborough.

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  Beth doesn't think we should buy a £3m property, but I'm only £2.99m short and we wouldn't have to move far. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/171444533

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  In 2015 Bear Grylls took the president of the USA for a 24 hour trip to see the glaciers in Alaska. Just Barack Obama and a foreign nation, alone without security - and Bear Grylls had a knife. Security for a sitting president doesn't have to be tight, when everyone is inspired by them and not in fear of them.

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  I'm assuming the FIFA peace prize comes with a bulletproof jacket.

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  What's the name for that thing* when the government tells us plebs to save money by turning our heating down, again. But they still set the minimum electricity price to the highest cost** of a fossil*** fuel. *Gaslighting **About 13% higher ***Gas

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  Three sentenced for 'man in bear suit' insurance scam https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxrq7rx9lqo

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  As they're so affordable now, maybe I should start buying NFTs. 🤔 🤣

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  Clear night tonight. If you're in the right place and look carefully you can see all sorts of satellites. And from here you can see the Artemis II spacecraft. 😁 #Joke

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  Interesting I've just been searching for an old message in Teams and when I click on one of the search results it says that it can't show it because the message is deleted. Sounds like the search index might be including deleted messages. 🤦

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  Is Amazon suggesting hunting equipment to me because it knows of an oncoming apocalypse and wants to cash in on one last sale?

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  Today I asked someone to use more AI in their work. Because the resulting automated slop will still be a great improvement on their normal effort. 😞

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  Do you remember: The boy band Bros. Their album Push (1988). The song "Cat Among the Pigeons". No? Let me FUCKING remind you: https://youtu.be/sywWI6OhmL0

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  There are two copies of Outlook running.

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  Went to the railway crossing on Asher Lane to see a steam train - is this what Mastodon likes? #Ruddington

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  BBC News covering the question everyone was asking.

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  Well done @DJDarren@mendeddrum.org Hope the early mornings go well.

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  Today in Currys they were selling a Scam Detector, for only £20 a year. Fortunately I think I can still spot a scam when I see one.

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  Arrest after major fire tears through Leek's historic Big Mill - BBC News https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1w40e82w98o

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  I love spam phone calls from AI bots. I've just had this one talking for over 6 minutes. It cannot speak in other languages. Or tell me pie, or the time, or do any maths for me. It can count backwards from 10 but not from 11 (or higher). It can direct me to it's websites but didn't have any access to change the website or post to it. One day I'm going to bankrupt some company through their own phone call! 😉

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  Museum of Making in Derby has a jet engine in the ceiling, so of course I 3D scanned it: https://scaniverse.com/scan/tu7uovgr4lh4evmn

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  For ten years Google Photos has thought the #researchED poster kid is part of my family.

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  Sometimes a child needs to face the consequences of their actions, even if that impacts the rest of the family. Especially if that child is currently president of the USA.

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  Not if your problem is gonorrhoea.