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  In regards to the most famous Idiot on the planet right now, Will it be ...

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  The "Honorable" Republican Senator from Missouri, Eric Schmitt was being considered to become the running mate of current Vice President, Couch Enthusiast, and Mascara Applier JD Vance for the 2028 Electoral Season. Looks like his interaction with Jack Smith completely obliterated those changes. Thoughts and prayers Thoughts and prayers

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  Dragon Riders of Perth

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  Maybe she's born with it Maybe she's an eldritch horror wearing human skin

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  Ed Sheeran: I am mother-tucking Ed Sheeran! I can do whatever the fcuk I want! His Opening Acts: Hold our beers. His Band: The fcuk you say?

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  Bob Macke passed away? Sad to hear that. I know he was the designer to the stars, but this is by far my favorite outfit of his …

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  Day two on Paxlovid. I’d be in the hospital if I wasn’t taking this stuff. It’s day 6 of having fever, which means I’m still fighting this effing infection.

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  If he talks fascist, If he reads fascist, If he posts fascist, If he dress fascist, He not progressive. He fascist.

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  My Socials have started showing me girl dorm room reveals ... Southern mom style. Why are Southern moms so extra?

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  Terminator: Son sends his father to the past to impregnate his mother so he can be born. Terminator 2: Killer robot becomes father figure to future savior of mankind. Terminator 3: The future cannot be changed. Terminator 4: Timeline's broken. Terminator 5: Broken timeline gets even more broken. Terminator 6: Another timeline ... gets broken. We need Starfleet's Temporal Corps to intervene, come to our timeline, and reset everything. #Terminator

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  We have a new roommate. We will not be charging them anything, as they are our own private extermination corp.

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  I believe my mom has entered the second childhood portion of her life.

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  Be the reason the Dark Lord decides to leave your city alone.

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  I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, realizing that despite all your protestations, you also love to eat muppet burgers.

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  One of the fun parts of working with a functional team is that when the blamestorm hits ... we're already ensconsed in the shelter and nothing sticks to us.

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  If you're a USAian of a certain age, the phrase below will trigger an auditory memory: IN A WORLD ...

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  Are you an Eagle Tactical Christian man who seeks both purity and a swole body through intense workouts free of temptation from the weaker sex? We are offering LustLock(TM) gyms and workouts where only holy, sanctified, purified manly men of manliness and solid faith work out. Join today! #EagleTactical Article: https://open.substack.com/pub/eagletactical/p/eagle-tactical-lustlock-mens-sanctification

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  Overheard at the bar, “I know he looks like a sunken-chest, basement-dwelling dork, but I’m telling you, you’d never call the magnificent tumescence he’s packing by its scientific term. To say he’s gifted would be a gross understatement.”

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  Nice fun little factoid to make your day ... Wilford Brimley was 49 years old when he started filming "Cocoon."

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  I think one of the hardest things about being a progressive is realizing that there are people out there who ... * Want everything burnt to the ground so we can start all over. OR * Want everything to go back to a fictional time when things were perfect. OR * Want nothing ... absolutely nothing to change.

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  "Grandma's deviled eggs are truly evil ... they're possessed by the spirit of an old Akkadian demon. They're arbiters of destruction, and absolutely delicious."

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  “No, that’s not ‘gay.’ THIS is gay: That top with that skirt is a fashion misdemeanor, but those flats elevate the whole outfit to a fashion felony. And you need to find yourself a drag queen so she can give you some make up tips, because … girl … you look like a drunk clown after a rainstorm.”

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  The English speaking world had Charlie Brown and Snoopy. Latin America had Mafalda, an Argentinian little girl who had an active imagination, friends who represented different segments of society, and who was the voice for justice, democracy, and the protection of the weak and needy. She was still a little girl, and she hated soup. Not dislike, not just hate, loathe. This is by far one of my favorite strips on the subject. Read the description for the translation.

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  The entire hamlet was relieved as they saw the police vehicle take them away. Women wept, men held on to their children, and children stopped being fearful. Their reign of terror was finally over.

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  Statements that may or may not be true, but have extensive backstories: "I don't know why they want to divorce me." "I don't understand why my adult children don't want to talk to me at all." "I can't imagine why I am in front of the Hague International court."

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  “Jack and Jill have lived in their Victorian home for 15 years. Jill wants to move to a more modern home, one that isn’t haunted by an eldritch spirit. Jack insists that he cannot leave the house or the cursed seals will break, bringing forth the end of the world. Will the love the remodel and exorcism, or will they move to a curse-free home? Find out on this week’s very special episode of ‘Love It or List it!’”

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  At least they no longer kill soccer players for failing to perform properly for their country in the World Cup.

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  Become ungovernable, like a toddler who’s learned to say “NO!”

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  Apparently, being a religious club member and getting up in front of an entire plane full of a captive audience to share your “testimony” is now happening? Oof. If it happened on my plane, I’d shout, “Raise your hand if you consider yourself a Xian. Keep your hands up. Now, if you’re embarrassed by this person’s performative witness, please keep your hands up.”

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  As someone who really likes sunlight and loves summer ... I'm all for DST becoming the default time for USAians. I'm sure there are other people who would prefer Standard Time to rule the land. Either way ... whatever happens, happens.