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  "My daughter tried using this in her Bad Dragon donkey-sized dildo and made a huge mess. She was so embarrassed that she tried to clean it up herself and missed a bunch of spots. The damn house still smells like a cheesemonger's stale fart from where this milk seeped into the corners of the carpet. Worked great though, looked just like cum. 4/5 stars."

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  Why are these always reserved for someone's mother? Why can't they save some for the rest of us :(

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  I once had a dream about a “lobster hotdog.” A lobster tail in a buttered hotdog bun. I went to a sports bar that happened to serve lobster tail and had hot dog buns. The waitress willing let me order this culinary sin. On an occasion, I still wake up in a cold sweat with the faint memory of processed bread and shellfish…