His most excellent unimpeachable Imperial Majesty, Donald John Trump by the grace of God: Emperor, President, and Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America and other insular territories, Governor of the Fifty-One States, Supreme Arbiter of Justice, Protector of Greenland, Conqueror of Iran, Chief Servant of the State of Israel, Viceroy of Venezuela, &c. &c., Chief Executive of the Trump Organisation, Chairman-for-Life of the Board of Peace, Dictator of Maps and Namer of Waters, Conqueror of the British Empire in North America in General and Canada in Particular, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea.