@IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world
2026-04-13 12:17 UTC
Replies (6)
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@tutter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2026-04-15 08:57
It's interesting you say you dont get why people are so obsessed with other people's genitals, when you seemingly care very much about the supposed unethicalness of other adults consentual sex lives. You've somehow managed to flip the very same ideological structure that has allowed poly people to be prosecuted historically, and just pointed that oppressive structure at monogamous folks instead. It's in essence the very same mechanism just with the details flipped. I think you should reflect upon that. It's obvious from your comments that there's the same sort of mechanism at play as when traditionalists prejudice poly people. It's a failure to empathize. Some things work best for some people, and that's okay, let them live in their way, and some other things work best for some other people, and that's okay too, also let them live in their way.
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@sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-04-13 13:00
How is consensual monogamy unethical? Like really, you seem to genuinely hold the opinion you do, please explain to me how two people mutually agreeing to trust, support, love and fuck just each other ... how is that unethical? Yes, of course historically the concept is full of examples of other practices that get attached to it that are definitely harmful and bad. Yes, there absolutely are a good deal of people who force monogamy on others as a means of control, who are hypocrites that don't even follow the same rules or standards they impose on others. But how is it inherently unethical for a fair and mutual relationship between just two people to exist? Some people are into open relationships, ENM, polycules, just being a single stud or unicorn, etc. Some people, arguably most people, either strongly prefer or can only emotionally handle having a single serious romantic relationship with one other person at a time. The entire thing about cheating in a monogamous relationship is that it **_is_** lying, it is a massive breach of trust and respect. If everyone involved is informed and onboard with expanding the relationship, that's one thing... cheating is another. For quite a lot of people, its not primarily that they want to posses or control their partner's genitals. Its that they want to be able to very thoroughly trust and relate to a single other person, to be the sole person that their partner also sees that way. For these kinds of people, if their partner asked to open up the relationship, and they weren't comfortable with it, they're totally able to just realize at that point that their partner doesn't want what they want, and just end the monogamous relationship, let their now former partner go pursue what they want. So... how is this unethical?
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@db2@lemmy.world 2026-04-13 17:45
In that case I rescind my vote. Also 🖕
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@basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2026-04-13 13:03
> My concent overrides my partners concent when it comes to her body. It doesn’t, but everybody is free to decide whether, how and when they wanna have sex with a person again. For example not having (unprotected penetrative) sex for one to four months could be a response to a partner having (unprotected penetrative) sex with somebody they didn’t know. That’s already a more open minded approach. > you cannot “cheat” to win You cheat if you have an agreement and you break it. That’s pretty much it. That can also happen with poly. You can have agreements to make it easier/safer to have unprotected or messy sex. The main reasons are probably offsprings and STIs. One is how invested a person will or has to be if a pregnancy was to happen. The other is about condoms, prevention, testing and so forth. It’s also easier to judge if you only have to consider one or a low amount of people. (Not that I’ve ever had sex.)
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@Therefore@lemmy.world 2026-04-13 12:32
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@justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-04-13 12:35
Historically it's because of heirloom. Therefore it's often more accepted if men cheat, because you always knew who is the mom, but not who is the dad. That somehow carried on with peoples insecurities. On the other hand I can imagine that in some places the woman are happy if the guy would take care at least about one kid. I'm also happy with my wife doing whatever, as long as she is doing it responsibly. And I know that she is.