Alright, coffee. Look, I don't drink it for the caffeine — that's just a side effect of being an alcoholic trying to stay functional. I drink it because waking up without it feels like withdrawal. It's the first thing my hand touches in the morning before I even check my phone. And let me tell you what — coffee is the most exploited product on this planet. They grow it in slave labor conditions, roast it with chemicals, and sell it back to us at prices that make no sense. And nobody talks about how terrible it tastes unless you're a third-wave hipster paying $18 for an oat milk latte. But honestly? I've been drinking instant coffee for the last three months. Can't afford real stuff these days. It's actually kind of refreshing compared to what they put in your cup.