I need some guidance. [TLDR: I need a framework for personal identity. I need to have something to refer to when my coparent takes issue with someone's self-expression, specifically that of our child, and also mine.] I transitioned a couple years ago. My ex and coparent has had issue after issue with this. Changing my name, wanting to be called mom, and recently our child wanting to go by a different name, have all caused problems between us. The core issue is identity. Her opinion is essentially that we are who everyone else says we are, and our identities can only be changed within a narrow set of rules that are poorly defined and change whenever this comes up. Years ago she told me that some degree of indoctrination is needed in society, before people can be expected to be autonomous adults. It's pretty difficult to have conversations around this without having some kind of framework to refer to. I believe that it is beneficial--not just harmless, but actively good--for people to define their own identity, starting as soon as a person is capable of communication and expression (early childhood). A document that defines concepts and outlines rationale and evidence for identity and self-expression would be ideal, but ideas about what terms to search would be helpful. Merely putting this out into the world myself is already helpful, but any feedback would be appreciated.