I heard a story of someone who was about to be conscripted into the dutch army back in the day. Before his intake interview he stuffed a load of peanut butter between his butt cheeks. When they had him come in for the interview, he told them he looked forward to serving, but then proceeded to take a big scoop of peanut butter from out of his pants and eat it. I assume that wouldn’t work in Russia, because you’d run the risk of becoming a general.