I am not comfortable in my body, because it has simply been a target for trauma (both self inflicted and by others). But, I have been working towards healing for the last decade. The last major thing I need to heal is my appearance, I gained a lot of weight in an attempt to keep men away but lost respect for my body in the process. I’ll be 40 next year, and the thought of so much wasted time living in fear and self-hatred can be overwhelming. I am saying this as someone with a very, very feminine body, it’s always been what other people want and see. I’m a masc-leaning enby though, and I’m finally giving myself permission to remold my body to match who I am - not who others have decided I am