@SeaFury@aus.social I think if you don't know why they put that comment then it would be fair to ask them. Does it need rephrasing because it is unclear, or because it is inelegant? I was lucky to have an excellent supervisor, who I have been thinking about because he died recently. The most important things in academic writing are precision and clarity. A thesis is just a series of factual statements backed up by evidence or logic, so every statement must have an empirical or logical basis.