Post #3132362 · Elektrine

2025-06-12 03:33 UTC

@morganth@social.tchncs.de With respect, I disagree. Most people don't like helping people, they like being thought of as people who like helping people. Most people don't like asking for help, though, that is true. One of the many reasons that people don't like asking for help is that, when one does, one sees that people don't want to help, they want to be thought of as people who help if asked. They can get the satisfaction of being thought of as people who help without the inconvenience of helping so long as nobody asks them. It is the rare person who, when asked, actually helps enthusiastically. Note that this is, in my experience, when asking for the first time, I do my best not to ask people for help, let alone ask for help often. @Tamasg@mindly.social

Replies (2)

@morganth@social.tchncs.de 2025-06-12 03:55

@techsinger@tweesecake.social @Tamasg@mindly.social As a person, I don’t agree with you. I do a lot of volunteer work (more since the most recent US election), and the reason that I do it it entirely selfish: it’s because it feels good to help people, and I like doing things that make me feel good. I’d like to think that most people feel the same way.

Open ##3132363
@scott@loves.tech 2025-06-12 06:35

@@techsinger@tweesecake.social You also have to keep in mind that the speaker was addressing a specific audience. People who go to seminars and are into self-improvement are often the givers who want to make the world a better place. They tend to give more than take, which may not be typical of everyone. So when the speaker asked that question, the result is not surprising. If you were to ask a different group of people, you may get different results. In my experience, certain communities are exactly like you described, but there are also communities that are exactly like @@morganth@social.tchncs.de described.

Open ##3132366